Faking???

[This Ends Now]

I AM NOT FAKING!!!! I AM NOT EXAGGERATING!!!!! I AM NOT TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU!!!!!! YOU THINK YOU "KNOW WHAT I AM SUFFERING FROM AND WHAT I AM NOT" WTF??? YOU SHOULD NEVER EVEN THINK OF SAYING THAT!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! AAARRRRGGGG!!!!!! :mad:

Ok ::deep breath:: anybody else dealing with this garbage? Seriously, if I have been shaking and crying for several hours then I am probably NOT faking. If I am trying to tell myself OUT LOUD that I should ignore my bad thoughts then I am probably actually having some pretty nasty thoughts running through my head. Furthermore, after I get to that point then there is NO TELLING how long it will take me to calm down. When I say I NEED space, I mean it... and if I need space for more than a few hours then that had better be respected too. If after a few hours of "alone time" (meaning I have locked myself in my room and been hiding under a blanket) I am able to peak my head out of the covers to play a facebook game in an attempt to return to the present that does NOT mean that I am all better. It is NOT a good idea to come in here and ask "are you done being crazy yet?" :mad:

I know that our loved ones get burnt out or pushed too far sometimes. I don't know how much of this is "normal" either in the real world or our messed up PTSD world. How do you all deal with this?

Right now hiding and trying to avoid yelling and throwing things seems like the best I can do. :wall:

 

[TLight]

Hang tight..........be by yourself until you can put things in perspective.

I know.........I get like this too. You can get away by yourself and block out all the unwanted things that will escalate your emotions and come back to a place of power and control.

I know you can..........takes a lot of effort with that much adrenaline coursing through your system..........but you can do it.

Thinking of you.......

 

[Grainne]

Breathe nice and deep...I know just where you are. My husband has learned, over the years, that when I say I need some time alone..I mean it. However, this doesn't mean that he is always understanding or patient. Just take the time you need to come down. xo

The faking issue...that one really burns me too. Just remember, no matter what some may say, there are others who completely understand what you are going through.

 

[Manic11]

This Ends Now, I believe you. :Hug_emoticon:

Manic

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

I believe you too - and completely understand how you feel.

Thinking of you - and hope you feel better soon.

 

[This Ends Now]

Thanks everybody. I am starting to feel a little better. I went on two walks, did yoga, cleaned, prayed, chanted, played video games, and did everything I could think of to stay busy and in the present. Thank you for the encouragement and good wishes.

Liz H.

 

[LikeCharlotte]

*hugs*
TEW - I cannot tell you how many times I have been there. I am sorry. Unfortunately the only thing to do is educate your loved ones about PTSD and take your space and time when you need it. I have locked myself in closets, walked barefoot in the snow and hid under beds to get away.

You shouldn't have to hear things like that. If it is any consolation I know... and it is a horrible thing. I lose time and memory during those episodes and have been called and accused in every imaginable way. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you will get better in time. Just hang on.

 

[This Ends Now]

Like Charlotte,

Thanks. ::hugs::

I have locked myself in closets and hidden under beds too! Hey, if it works it works. I am starting to do a bit better though. I have taken over the computer room and started blasting Yanni at top volume.

Jo has calmed down too. He has backed off and is starting to give me some space. I think my melt down (and the disruption to his work it caused) scared him a little.

I am sorry that you have been through it too. Its miserable when people don't believe you or start making accusations. Education is a powerful tool. People are starting to get it... it just takes time for them to adjust I guess.

I wish you well,

Liz H.

 

[LikeCharlotte]

I just wanted to add that I used to put a "do not disturb" door hanger on the bedroom door and take it off when I felt ready to be around other people but not necessarily ready to talk. It could work for you. I stopped worrying about taking 4 times as long to deal with difficult things and accepted that I have limitations just like everyone else. Short people can't reach the top shelf - so they get a step stool. I can only handle a small amount of stress at a time - so I get a DND door hanger :wink:.

 

[skyp56]

I know exactly how that feels! My husband did it to me again yesterday, as a matter of fact. He said I should quit feeling sorry for myself. So angry at him! Like I WANT to be this way?????

Keep us posted on how you are doing. Hang in there! I'll think positive thoughts for you.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
skyp56

 

[Grainne]

I've locked myself in a closet to get away from family too. I actually made myself a little hiding place in there, so dark and quiet, for when I had migraines. One day, after a particularly hard time with son while I was on maternity leave with him, I just snapped. I put him down in his crib so he was safe and started pacing around the house, freaking out...trying to get away, but not being able to go anywhere because my sweet little angel was so tiny and could not stop screaming his discontent (ever). I fled to the quietest place I knew...my headache closet. lol... Once I got in there it felt a bit like a sensory deprevation tank. Was awesome.

Wow..I really miss that closet, now that I think of it. !!

 

[Monarch]

I like the closet too, nice and safe.