Faking???

[This Ends Now]

All of these are excellent suggestions. Thank you all so much. The quietest place when there is no work being done is usually the office. It is dark and has no windows and I can put on chanting or peaceful music. It is a great place to sleep during the day. At night when work is being done in the office my room is best. The door to my room locks and it makes me feel safe.

I love the "do not disturb" sign idea. I might add that to my methods of requesting space.

Currently I am trying out silence. If I listen rather than speak then there is no argument. I can observe and think more clearly... at least this is my hypothesis. I am not doing it to be cruel or punish or use the silent treatment... I just need some time to reflect... to remove myself from the equation in a way that does no harm. I will let you know how it works out.

I wish you all well,

Liz H.

 

[darksydney]

hi i feel your pain

I AM NOT FAKING!!!! I AM NOT EXAGGERATING!!!!! I AM NOT TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU!!!!!! YOU THINK YOU "KNOW WHAT I AM SUFFERING FROM AND WHAT I AM NOT" WTF??? YOU SHOULD NEVER EVEN THINK OF SAYING THAT!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! AAARRRRGGGG!!!!!! :mad:

I feel like this too and my loved ones and friends do this to me. I have chronic ptsd and sometimes it gets to the point that i feel like i well pass out or do pass out and then my friends and family is like shes having another episode/attack or she wants attention. It hurts so much to be judged like this so i just want to let you know your not alone.

syd

 

[NarcSis]

First off, Big Hug - you need it.

I've heard this too many times to even count from my sister (my best friend in the whole wide world who employs denial to see her through anything!), I hear your frustration. There are times when I think I'm faking and I set myself up for a 'hissie fit' - duh!

I use a shower, cold to snap the anger then warm to relax your muscles. No one else can come in to bother you in the shower. Stretch, feel the water massage you, cry if you need to, let it go.

Keep in mind that just as you are allowed to react the way you do, so is he. This is not easy to deal with from his side as well as from yours - if you can get frustrated so can he. Don't hold it against him. The hardest thing we can learn to do is to forgive.

Hugs. Hope you feel better.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I have spent the last 12 years trying to explain this to my mother. She has spent the same amount of time trying to learn what she can and still does not grasp this issue we deal with. I am blessed that she does respect "my need to be left alone".

I think this is the most difficult part of our PTSD for our love ones to understand. The entire thing is impossible to explain in words to someone who does not have
PTSD can grasp.

I swear if I'm asked one more time "what's wrong with you now?" I'm gonna scream.

I like the idea of the DO NOT DISTURB/I'M SLEEPING/LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE sign. Plan on getting one and hanging it so mom can see it. Since her surgery she is very forgetful so the sign will help.

 

[onebravegirl]

Dear This ends now,
First of all I do not think you are faking. And I know how painful those words can be. It was a remark like that, that sent me whirling into the PTSD in the first place. What hurt the most for me, was that part of me at the beginning wondered if I was execrating. I later found out that this is quite normal for victims of emotional abuse. In my case I was raised not to own any emotion I felt until I was given permission to have it in the first place. It was not until I was living in a Hospital for 6 months that I finally realized that all the terrible stories the other PTSD patients were relating were similar to my own. Then I finally gave myself the permission I needed to recognize I really was as sick as I felt.
It would be so amazing for us if our family could truly appreciate what we go through. But I do not think they really can. I became friends with this amazing girl in the Hospital. I'll call her V. She was a little younger than me. She had been cutting since the age of 5. Terribly sad and painful life. She used to feel sorry for me and say how she couldn't have lived through what I had. Another woman I knew had cut her own throat, ear to ear, four times. She had empathy for others as well.-They could relate to PTSD. Anyway, sometime after my friend V and I were released, I get a phone call from some girl who knew V. V was in emerge and needed someone to be with her. I went. In the emerge Poor V layed completely paralyzed from the neck down. The Doc came in all concerned, until he noticed all the scars on her arms. Then he said that she was faking and wasting his time. He stuck his finger up her behind to see if she had never damage-I held her hand. Then he said it was all in her head and that she should leave. She still couldn't move. V's trauma had physically frozen all her muscles. Now A Doctor should know that. But he didn't have any knowledge of Trauma. He had no sympathy for her at. He and I had a "WORD" in private. :naughty:In time V felt a little better and after some time she did manage to go home. My point is this. Trauma does terrible things to us, even well after the initial event. If a doctor in one of the best hospitals in the world cannot recognize what we go through, then maybe we can see how it is difficult for others as well.
Please keep telling us what you are feeling and struggling with. Here you will find people who really know what you are facing. Patience with yourself is much more important right now than for other people. As far a ignorant (not knowing any better) people around you, I think they should do some research before they start voicing opinions. Hang in there! You are NOT faking and We know it!
O

 

[anni]

Oh My,
The Faking It routine. Sigh. It makes the top of your head feel like it's going to pop off, doesn't it?

I believe you. :)

Take Care,

Anni

 

[Noone.]

I have to be honest I have never had anyone tell me that I was faking and I'm sure
it has nothing to do with the fact that I would knock them the fxck out.

Ken.

 

[clare]

Ya Ken,

It kinda does, remember the old diagnoses were "Hysteria" for women and "Shell Shock" for men. Maybe it's because often women are not seen as a threat to others as much as to themselves.

 

[damaged goods]

one of my very good friends once told me:
"The farther you stick your head into the toilet, the more shit you're gonna see'
which i think has it's validity, but it also doesn't help me any farther. And this was years before I was informed I had c-ptsd.
It's important to take time just for yourself. Last winter I chopped I don't know how much firewood and ran my snowblower to make skating space on the creek for my kids instead of --------.

 

[anni]

Ken,

Your post made me laugh! Thank you!

Anni

 

[This Ends Now]

OneBraveGirl,

That is an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing it. I guess it can be hard for those of us who have grown up with these symptoms to realize that they are so strange for everybody else. I am still shocked at the doctor though!!!! I hope your friend is doing well now.

Ken, Your post made me laugh too. Thanks.

Thank you everybody for your support. Sometimes I need a little compassion and sometimes I need to have a little compassion for those who have to put up with me.

Liz H.