This time my partner's sudden exit without communication and consequent behaviour of spending time with his x wife and son on christmas day but not with me has affected more than just me.
It is SO hard to argue with the fact that "what he's done to you this time is unforgiveable, how could you even THINK about allowing him back into your life" etc etc because people don't understand PTSD at all. "you'll get what you deserve, these are not the actions of a man who loves you, you're being abused..."
Yes he has breached boundaries, yes he has gone backwards and into denial again, yes this is incredibly difficult for me blah blah blah. and yes I allowed him to breach boundaries in the past, yes I've made excuses in the past that I shouldn't have.
I'm different now because I've learnt I not only need to learn about his ptsd, i need to learn about and more importantly work on myself. And let him work on himself. And set the boundary that there is NO chance of reconciliation if he doesn't make a serious attempt to manage his ptsd but instead continues on a path that makes him worse.
Not only is he being judged, I am being judged as well. And it boils down to naivety.
Why is so little known about PTSD by the general public? Anthony's cup explanation is SO simple and explains SO much in a few pictures. Is there still a PTSD awareness day or some such other promotion to inform the public and take the stigma away? To allow friends and family to understand the difficult journey both sufferer and partner have through this?
It is SO hard to argue with the fact that "what he's done to you this time is unforgiveable, how could you even THINK about allowing him back into your life" etc etc because people don't understand PTSD at all. "you'll get what you deserve, these are not the actions of a man who loves you, you're being abused..."
Yes he has breached boundaries, yes he has gone backwards and into denial again, yes this is incredibly difficult for me blah blah blah. and yes I allowed him to breach boundaries in the past, yes I've made excuses in the past that I shouldn't have.
I'm different now because I've learnt I not only need to learn about his ptsd, i need to learn about and more importantly work on myself. And let him work on himself. And set the boundary that there is NO chance of reconciliation if he doesn't make a serious attempt to manage his ptsd but instead continues on a path that makes him worse.
Not only is he being judged, I am being judged as well. And it boils down to naivety.
Why is so little known about PTSD by the general public? Anthony's cup explanation is SO simple and explains SO much in a few pictures. Is there still a PTSD awareness day or some such other promotion to inform the public and take the stigma away? To allow friends and family to understand the difficult journey both sufferer and partner have through this?
