Family issues.

[Marvel545]

This is tough for me to write.

My Mom died 14 years ago & she was severely disabled. She required a lot of support from family & I am eternally grateful for the support we had while she was alive.

After my Mom died, everything fell apart. We went from being a family who saw a lot of each other to falling out constantly. My Mom's parents persecuted me & my Dad after my Moms death, despite the fact we witnessed it in sudden & traumatic circumstances.

We were robbed shortly after my Moms death & they took most of her belongings of any sentimental value.

I've spent my life trying to piece my family back together to no avail. My Grandparents believe there is 'No greater loss than losing a daughter' & I barely see my Aunties & Uncles.

I feel as though I can do no right & I'd be a bad person for drifting away from my family, even though it's causing me distress. I don't want to not see them again, just to have a healthy distance. We all live within a few hundred metres of each other.

I feel like healing from trauma means that I'm actually mourning the loss of my whole family, but staying where I am is driving me insane.

I'm looking for any advice on how to cope with this really.

 

[somerandomguy]

I guess the obvious question is whether it's possible for you to move?

 

[Marvel545]

@somerandomguy the 12-24 month plan is to move to the US, which I think will be great for me. I could move within my area, I certainly think it's something to look at.

I think proximity is an issue because we live really close, but generally only see each other when we are obligated to. I do see my cousin quite frequently though! I see my Grandparents once every so often & I find them stressful. I thought that would change when I moved out, but
It didnt.

Maybe I just need to adapt to how things are now & accept them for who they really are. Stop trying to make my present like the past.