CandanceCandyCane
New Here
Hello I'm new here sorry if I posted this in the wrong part, I've been on a few websites trying to figure out how to handle this and had no luck....I hope someone on here can help
I just turn 20 last month searching for a job for a few months now since I quit my job at Mcdonald's because they weren't paying me
I would work for 6-8 hours my name wasn't even in the system so I had no way to clock in.
The only reason I kept going for so long was because my father kept pressuring me too.
I actually didn't recieve my check until three months later and it was short, the other job I had was at Wendy's got fired from there because I wasn't fast enough, worked at another Mcdonald's too had to leave because I was only work 1 to 3 hours a day, 2 times a week.
Then 2 years before those jobs I worked at an amusement par for a few months before they closed back up again (worse expereince of my life even worse than mcdonalds)
Here's the thing I live with my father, I'm not in school right now (I can't afford to go.) And have been looking for job all summer long...I'm trying to stay away from fast food because I can't seem to fit it and always mess everything up ending up either getting fired or not getting any hours...I have trouble focusing I have DP and DR...
I can't take being yelled at by customers anymore, one guy just completely flipped out at me because I wasn't looking at something he was pointing at..and the manger had to come and it was just a disater, I can't deal with people like this anymore.
Have been diganosed with Aspergers, but I'm trying to get retested again can't afford a therapist right now (Not looking for sympthany just for help and sorry for my typos.)
My bank account is at negative right now, so I owe the bank money, I've tried gocery stores, retail, everything I can think of I was thinking of joining the military but...with the way I am now I don't think I would last long or get put in to begin with
My father keeps saying "You don't want a job, you sound like you don't want a job." When I tell him I do it's kind of like he's blaming me for the reason that I can't get a job
He'll suggest something like fast food, again I'm trying to stay away from fast food, I either tell him I can't ect...but apply anyway just so he'll lay off
"I'm just trying to help you-you sound like you don't want a job." I know it doesn't sound that bad but I feel like I'm dissaponting him.
"You should be able to get an entry level job."
I hate living here off of him, I have to rely on him for everything I can drive, but for food and etc I always have to ask him it's kind of embrassing..
I think he's scared, I think he doesn't want me to end up like my older sister, (I know this is sounding like some kind of soap opera, thank you so much if you're still reading.)
She never moved out of the house, so with me just getting out of High School, (Yes I graduated late happens when you fail three times.) And having her still living there almost 40 years old
I feel even more pressure to hurry up and get a job so that I can leave I feel in the way all the time I'm scared to even talk to him whenever I do I feel like I'm irrating him just by breathing
He complains that I don't do enough around the house and when I do it's always wrong, I feel like an idiot around him
I have trouble talking to people and making friends, I have no contacts and no one to talk.
With derpersonlization and derelization it makes it even harder for me to be in those places, the world around me is so fake I can't think straight half the time
I'm not sure is PSTD is the right forums for me I've had dissociation problems since I was a little girl
One of the reason I believe I can't get a job is because of something really really stupid I did back when I was 15 though my father refuses to believe that's the reason
I know..I'm all over the place with this I'm sorry if I'm confusing anyone
I never had friends before...so once I was in high school people (mainly guys.) Started to talk to me
It was nice, I was use to either being ignored or picked with for my awkward behaviour
unfortunately I was stupid back then and made a very unwise choice
The guys would loose interest in me as soon as I said I wasn't going to you know...so I sent them pictures..god I hate myself for doing that...i
My face was in all of them, so one boy (that I know of.) Got angry at me one day because I told him again that I wasn't going to sleep with him, so he spread the picture all around the school showing it to everyone.
People really didn't see me shy or quiet anymore people were looking at me diffferently and it hurts to write this bringing back memories
I had to call my father and have him come pick me up I told him what I did...I'm not going into detail about his reaction
I think that maybe this boy put these photos online, of course he knows my name...I'm too scared to google my own name because I'm scared that these photos are going to pop up and there's not a darn thing I can do about it
I think that employers google my name and maybe these pictures come up?
I know this sounds crazy and far fetch and unbelieveable but this has really happen I was really this dumb
The reason why i think these photos are online is because after that year I had to go to summer school because I failed the 8th grade, and had to makeup for some classes...some boys that I never seen before recognize me (they didn't go to the school the school that I went too was very small and for speical needs people everyone knew who everyone was pretty much.)
The boy stared at me for a while (we were in the cafeteria, I sat behind him and could hear what he was saying.) Hes was talking about the pictures...and describing me to his friends...they kept looking back and laughing.
I'm not sure what kind of lauage we can use on here so
I'm going to stop there...I'm writing too much and I probably confused anyone who read it all sorry..
And thank you for reading my question...I'm sorry again for it getting all off course
I had a lot to write..
I just turn 20 last month searching for a job for a few months now since I quit my job at Mcdonald's because they weren't paying me
I would work for 6-8 hours my name wasn't even in the system so I had no way to clock in.
The only reason I kept going for so long was because my father kept pressuring me too.
I actually didn't recieve my check until three months later and it was short, the other job I had was at Wendy's got fired from there because I wasn't fast enough, worked at another Mcdonald's too had to leave because I was only work 1 to 3 hours a day, 2 times a week.
Then 2 years before those jobs I worked at an amusement par for a few months before they closed back up again (worse expereince of my life even worse than mcdonalds)
Here's the thing I live with my father, I'm not in school right now (I can't afford to go.) And have been looking for job all summer long...I'm trying to stay away from fast food because I can't seem to fit it and always mess everything up ending up either getting fired or not getting any hours...I have trouble focusing I have DP and DR...
I can't take being yelled at by customers anymore, one guy just completely flipped out at me because I wasn't looking at something he was pointing at..and the manger had to come and it was just a disater, I can't deal with people like this anymore.
Have been diganosed with Aspergers, but I'm trying to get retested again can't afford a therapist right now (Not looking for sympthany just for help and sorry for my typos.)
My bank account is at negative right now, so I owe the bank money, I've tried gocery stores, retail, everything I can think of I was thinking of joining the military but...with the way I am now I don't think I would last long or get put in to begin with
My father keeps saying "You don't want a job, you sound like you don't want a job." When I tell him I do it's kind of like he's blaming me for the reason that I can't get a job
He'll suggest something like fast food, again I'm trying to stay away from fast food, I either tell him I can't ect...but apply anyway just so he'll lay off
"I'm just trying to help you-you sound like you don't want a job." I know it doesn't sound that bad but I feel like I'm dissaponting him.
"You should be able to get an entry level job."
I hate living here off of him, I have to rely on him for everything I can drive, but for food and etc I always have to ask him it's kind of embrassing..
I think he's scared, I think he doesn't want me to end up like my older sister, (I know this is sounding like some kind of soap opera, thank you so much if you're still reading.)
She never moved out of the house, so with me just getting out of High School, (Yes I graduated late happens when you fail three times.) And having her still living there almost 40 years old
I feel even more pressure to hurry up and get a job so that I can leave I feel in the way all the time I'm scared to even talk to him whenever I do I feel like I'm irrating him just by breathing
He complains that I don't do enough around the house and when I do it's always wrong, I feel like an idiot around him
I have trouble talking to people and making friends, I have no contacts and no one to talk.
With derpersonlization and derelization it makes it even harder for me to be in those places, the world around me is so fake I can't think straight half the time
I'm not sure is PSTD is the right forums for me I've had dissociation problems since I was a little girl
One of the reason I believe I can't get a job is because of something really really stupid I did back when I was 15 though my father refuses to believe that's the reason
I know..I'm all over the place with this I'm sorry if I'm confusing anyone
I never had friends before...so once I was in high school people (mainly guys.) Started to talk to me
It was nice, I was use to either being ignored or picked with for my awkward behaviour
unfortunately I was stupid back then and made a very unwise choice
The guys would loose interest in me as soon as I said I wasn't going to you know...so I sent them pictures..god I hate myself for doing that...i
My face was in all of them, so one boy (that I know of.) Got angry at me one day because I told him again that I wasn't going to sleep with him, so he spread the picture all around the school showing it to everyone.
People really didn't see me shy or quiet anymore people were looking at me diffferently and it hurts to write this bringing back memories
I had to call my father and have him come pick me up I told him what I did...I'm not going into detail about his reaction
I think that maybe this boy put these photos online, of course he knows my name...I'm too scared to google my own name because I'm scared that these photos are going to pop up and there's not a darn thing I can do about it
I think that employers google my name and maybe these pictures come up?
I know this sounds crazy and far fetch and unbelieveable but this has really happen I was really this dumb
The reason why i think these photos are online is because after that year I had to go to summer school because I failed the 8th grade, and had to makeup for some classes...some boys that I never seen before recognize me (they didn't go to the school the school that I went too was very small and for speical needs people everyone knew who everyone was pretty much.)
The boy stared at me for a while (we were in the cafeteria, I sat behind him and could hear what he was saying.) Hes was talking about the pictures...and describing me to his friends...they kept looking back and laughing.
I'm not sure what kind of lauage we can use on here so
I'm going to stop there...I'm writing too much and I probably confused anyone who read it all sorry..
And thank you for reading my question...I'm sorry again for it getting all off course
I had a lot to write..
