Fear of Dentist

[Nam]

Dentist fear for my daughter. Last week, I found three cavities in her teeth. And ever since making an appointment with the dentist, I've been downright bitchy and withdrawn. I'm scared for her. I try to avoid my fears since she really doesn't have a "fear" of the dentist as of yet. She actually thinks this might be fun. I'm trying hard not to project my feelings onto her. But man! It's hard since I hate dentists with a passion! I only go if I'm dying of pain and want a tooth removed because of it. At that point, I welcome the lidocaine (numbing medicine) needle. I wish I could go in her place so she wouldn't have to feel this fear. Rationally, I know that not all kids or adults have this intense fear as I do, and that she may have an ok time of it.

I'm just fretting over which dentist would be better. A man? A woman? One I've seen before? I know her, she'll freak out. It's not really about the pain itself, but about being immobilized in the chair. About not knowing or being in control. I'm sure we'll have to go more than once.

I talked with my hubs about it tonight and I cried! I can't believe I'm crying over this....I said, "I can't knowingly inflict pain on my kids." And that's just it...I'd be standing by while someone "hurt" my kid. (I don't do well at doctor's offices either....) It doesn't help that my kid is five years old. She's starting to think for herself and assert herself. She still has a lot of irrational fears and anxiety. (I still think somehow she is damaged from my hellish days of ptsd.)

I want to hear GOOD experiences with the dentists...especially those of you that have an acute fear of them as I do. Help me calm....

 

[2quilt]

I had a monster for a dentist as a child, but now I can get through it okay. If I am anxious, I call ahead and speak to the dentist, not the receptionist who will discount my fears. I ask him to call me back when he has 20-30 minutes to talk. They know that we exist out here, and that some people dont go in until they have serious problems. I hope this guy is a pediatric dentist. I am certain that what you tell him will not be the first time he has heard it; we are more common than you imagine!
You are very strong and a great mom for trying so damn hard not to let your little girl know that you have this terrible fear. That is so very hard to avoid doing.
To get over my fear, I went to a pediatric dentist at 14 years old, luckily he took me as a favor to a friend of my family. He knew I was a wreck, so he didnt do any work for the first visit.
If you call around shopping for a dentist, speak directly with the dentist, dont just let the receptionist tell you he's a great guy; she is supposed to sell him and his services. Ask to get a callback from him or her directly, and if they say no, don't give them your business. You deserve to evaluate your potential hire yourself, on the phone where you can present your fears and get a feel for how the dentist will treat you and your kids in person.

Hey, how is the beautiful bundle of boyness you had last year doing, mamma? Any updated photos to share so that we can all love him? You make beautiful children!

 

[Lucky Laser]

I haven't had any bad experiences with dentists. I've had four teeth pulled by mine and never felt any pain at all. The only time I've really had pain at the dentist's office is when the aide scrapes too hard and hits my gums. I had braces back in high school too and didn't have many pain issues with those either. So there, some good experiences for you. :smile:

Its amazing how well kids can do with pain sometimes. If things are explained to them in a kind manner, things can go pretty well.

 

[Claire]

I used to have a problem being in the chair. Not so much the dentist but being in that position in the chair. Now I use my meditation technique to imagine I'm somewhere else. You can do that kind of thing with kids too especially as they have such great imaginations. I shut my eyes and go to somewhere completely different. It worked really well last time, I've been going regularly for some work on a tooth and I've used the same technique a lot.

You can definitely get cds for children for mediation techniques. It might be helpful to your child. they can be used for all sorts of things like bullying, shyness, etc.

I also found it was very helpful to tell the dentist that I had a problem with the chair. He would talk to me a lot and check I was ok or if I needed a break.

 

[Nam]

Well, we went and it went well. They confirmed the cavities so we'll be going back. Not looking forward to that since that will be a cavity filling day. Then, afterwards, I gave in to retail therapy.

Thanks 2Quilt for remembering my little guy! Yes, he is precious and full of surprises. We just found him earlier washing his hands in the toilet..yuk. He is so even keeled. It must be from his dad. I'll join you to my friends list so you can visit my family album.

 

[2quilt]

Thanks Nam!
I will go over there and start adoring him.