When I was in Therapy about 4 years ago (I desperately need it now) she used EMDR multiple times with me, didn't work. She has since retired but she commented at the time that in 50 years of practicing she had never seen anyone as resistant to EMDR and with such a solid wall. This scares the shit out of me because what am I protecting myself from. I was abused by a professional pedophile between the ages of 10-12 and while I have flashbacks it is more 1 second of me floating above my body and a shuddering fear of what was done but do not remember specifics. I believe I was drugged and my mind is protecting me from horrors to deep to face.
Recently the emotional flashbacks are returning and I am scared
Recently the emotional flashbacks are returning and I am scared