Fear Of Encountering Traumatic Experience Again?

[Sweetie]

Hello
I'm afraid I'm new to PTSD and I'm trying to learn everything I can!

Does anyone have any experiences of fearing that their traumatic experience will happen to them again? This is my main symptom and it really has got in the way of life. For example, I don't go out on my own often and don't like to be on my own anywhere just in case the trauma happens again....even when I know, rationally, that the chances of it occurring are very slim......strange, I know x
Any experiences or thoughts on this would be most appreciated.
Thank v.much
X

 

[The Albatross]

Hi Sweetie. I know I have fears "a" trauma will happen again. Been thinking a good deal about that actually and how it has caused a lot of stress and been a block to me moving forward. I have been trying to bust down the thinking about irrational fear... but my rational mind knows that I will likely have more adversity if not trauma. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle it.

Very good, and timely topic.

 

[Sweetie]

The Albatross
Thanks so much for replying- most kind of you.

It's good to hear from someone else who understands this- and you should consider yourself special because you are the first person I've 'spoken' to with PTS(D) ;-)

Yes, I often think to myself, if only I could get past this fear of going through trauma again, I'd be almost there...almost back to being my 'normal' self. Like you have so rightly described, the thought of experiencing another trauma again is entirely stressful and does stop us from moving forward. Hoping therapy will teach me some coping mechanisms...it's tough. I get to the point sometimes that I think...I better not go walk the dog in case it happens again. Or, I'll only accept home-working projects because I don't want anything to happen when I'm in a meeting or travelling somewhere.

I do hope you are OK? And, thank you again for taking the time to reply to me.
S x

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[The Albatross]

Very welcome... I think my biggest fear is what "I" will do if/when I will have another trauma. I'm trying to build up some sort of solid foundation... where I can shake but not break apart again.

 

[Helliepig]

Definitely, I have a fear of most relationships and getting close to people for fear of my childhood and adult traumas happening again. I'd say it's likely to be a pretty constant feature of PTSD...

 

[Meadowsweet]

Yes, I fear it happening again. I think this is a big part of ptsd. But you are doing good to recognise that its not always rational.

 

[ProudWife99]

Do I ever. Half the time I don't know if I'm avoiding something because of fear or because I've gotten so used to avoiding it. I wish I had more to offer, but today is not an "up" day for me. I want to avoid my spouse and hide in a cave. I guess I'll pat myself on the back because I will go home and face it. It's the little victories, I always say!

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

YES..this is my biggest fear! I'm constantly living in fear. I'm always expecting something to break or blow-up etc.. It's an awful way to live. I also fear personal relationships and just waiting for that person to wig-out on me. I'm having a bad day today. :sick:

 

[Sweetie]

Very welcome... I think my biggest fear is what "I" will do if/when I will have another trauma. I'm trying to build up some sort of solid foundation... where I can shake but not break apart again.

Hi, The Albatross

Yes...I hear you. It's also a concern of mine- if anything does happen, how will I cope. I've often thought, if I was subjected to any kind of trauma now, I wouldn't be able to cope with that.

However...I take comfort in thinking about all the times I have coped in the past. Childhood for me was chronic trauma which I somehow survived and coped with (somehow!)- it was an adult trauma that forced it all out of me. And I'm still surviving and coping. So are you. And you're strong enough to share your experiences and help others.

Alot of the time, we surprise ourselves with how much we do cope I suppose! Brings me some comfort when I think about it like that.
I hope I speak to you again
S x

Definitely, I have a fear of most relationships and getting close to people for fear of my childhood and adult traumas happening again. I'd say it's likely to be a pretty constant feature of PTSD...

Hi Helliepig

Thanks so much for responding to me. I'm sorry to hear about your trauma from childhood and as an adult. I'm really grateful for you writing because it does reassure me that it's just a symptom of the trauma (well...not 'just'...don't mean to indicate it's anything minor).

You know- I am in a very similar place to you. It took me a few months of inner child therapy to realise my behaviours as an adult were being controlled by my insecurities from childhood. Particularly with abandonment issues. Also had intimacy problems. Inner child therapy has helped me a great deal with that- I'm starting trauma therapy soon in an effort to directly tackle the trauma ...oh dear, a little nervous about that.

I hope you are receiving lots of support for your experiences. I'm new to PTS but I have asked 5 psychotherapists (lucky enough to get three in a room together when my docs sent me to a support group!), my doctor and a couple of hypnotherapists - I've asked them if recovery from trauma and PTSD is possible. Every one of them said more or less the same thing...absolutely, 100%
so...there is hope :)

Yes, I fear it happening again. I think this is a big part of ptsd. But you are doing good to recognise that its not always rational.

Thanks so much Meadowsweet- most kind of you to reply.

I can't tell you how much it helps to hear from someone who reassures me about this symptom...it brings some comfort and reinforces to me that I'm not going crazy! :)
Rational thoughts...most of the time I recognise I'm being irrational but I understand my brain is also saying to me, 'that was awful...let's make sure it never happens again...if you don't leave the house, you'll feel safe because it won't happen again' etc etc

My trauma was unexpected, a total, horrific shock. This makes it worse in a way because I've seen how life can suddenly change.

Which is still a scary thought! I understand I can't live my life thinking, 'what if...'- it's just difficult not to think in this way after trauma, as you know.
I really appreciate your support- thank you

And I wish you lots of good days :)X

Do I ever. Half the time I don't know if I'm avoiding something because of fear or because I've gotten so used to avoiding it. I wish I had more to offer, but today is not an "up" day for me. I want to avoid my spouse and hide in a cave. I guess I'll pat myself on the back because I will go home and face it. It's the little victories, I always say!

Hi, ProudWife

Wow- your second sentence...I could've written that about me! I have become an expert in avoidance and safety behaviours these last few months.

Sorry you've had a challenging day. Absolutely - you deserve a pat on the back...everytime you go home and face it when you feel like running away IS an achievement. I know those days too, tough. Very tough.

I hope you are being supported? And I hope tomorrow is a better day. X

And- thank you - means alot that you've reached out to support a complete stranger when you are suffering your own challenges x

YES..this is my biggest fear! I'm constantly living in fear. I'm always expecting something to break or blow-up etc.. It's an awful way to live. I also fear personal relationships and just waiting for that person to wig-out on me. I'm having a bad day today. :sick:

Hello there
Really sorry today has been tough- thanks for responding to me, which means a great deal considering today has not been good for you :-(

You're absolutely correct...living as we are is an awful way to live. I am on constant alert, waiting for it. And, even though I rationally know the risk of experiencing a similar trauma is very slim...I'm afraid to let down my gaurd. Just in case!

Are you getting any assistance on your road to recovery?

It makes life so limiting for us, this way of thinking. I'm a total control freak (childhood issues!) so my unexpected trauma where I didn't have control was terrifying. I suppose I'm too afraid to relax and let it go for this reason.

Are you ok? I'm hoping by the time you may read this, you are feeling better?
X

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[ProudWife99]

I hope you are being supported?
And I hope tomorrow is a better day. X

Thank you, Sweetie. Today is a MUCH better day. My husband is a blessing, yes. He struggles with Combat PTSD and we definately had it out all morning yesterday, but we were able to discuss and communicate on our own (although I had scheduled an emergency T session for us both!) It was reassuring that if we follow the steps given to us to communicate, we can resolve some conflicts.

Thank for the support! I did face it and sometimes that is about all I can do.

Hope you're doing well.

 

[TSG]

I am obsessed with the thought of it happening, again. I was always out doing things, kayaking on Wednesdays, tennis on Thursdays, power-walking on Saturdays, beach on Mondays and Fridays, rollerblading on Tuesdays...then my kayak partner attacked me in my home. I stopped doing all of it (and subsequently gained 25#). I ditched all of the friends I did those things with and, to this day, almost 2 years later, haven't spoken to them or explained why.

Everywhere I look I see someone who will attack me (in my mind). I am trapped in my home and can only get out if I have accompaniment. I have weapons hidden all over the house and in my purse and in my coats and I hide one in my sock and in my jeans. I won't stand near an elderly man with the same build as my attacker, no matter where I am. I am a prisoner of my own fears of it happening, again.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi Sweetie,

I use avoidance behaviors. I even drive that way. I am afraid of traumas happening to me again. The result is that I have very limited contact with safe others. I lock my door early. I use to use a answering machine to screen all of my calls. I do not do that anymore. I am having some success with my avoidance behaviors. I am trying new things.

But I will never be the same person I was. I have been carved out by trauma and my life will never be the same again. I have unrealistic fears. But at least I am aware of them being unrealistic.

I wonder if you are ok now. I hope by the time you read this you will be feeling alittle better. You got alot of help and support and you seem to be very bright and sensitive.

All I can say is after being so badly burned by a branding experience I will never ever be the same person I used to be. I have anxiety now and it is turning out to be a every day occurance. I did'nt have it today. Well I hope this helped and did not hurt. Take care and be well