Fearful.

[I'm not Spiderman]

Things seem to be going well (whatever that means for people like us) and I'm so terrified that it's all just going to blow up in my face any second now. I could drive myself insane thinking and rethinking.
I've been taking baby steps to get to a good place, and yeah I still have work to do, but I'm worried that I'm just gonna go back in a circle to where I was before.

Can anyone relate? How do you cope?

 

[Virtues]

I can relate...

What slays me is that I can only be measured up to my PTSD. Even on my good days my wife views me by my worst days. It's like I can never make up ground. That and what ever emotion I feel always falls back on my PTSD. I can't get angry, upset, sad, or any other negative emotion anymore, without her directly correlating it to my PTSD.

We have a saying in the Marine Corps... "embrace the suck"

How it applies here is, just know that those dark days are coming, but they will pass. Life for us is like a roller coaster. It is full of ups and downs, and when we are in our downs we have to embrace the suck and ride it out. In the meantime enjoy the high you are having try not to worry about the storm that hasn't come yet, fear not, before you know it, it will be here.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote. ........"Can anyone relate? How do you cope?"

I always stand by my code of,......make the best of the good days.

As they will leave you happier memories, that you can look back on, on the not so good days.

On bad days, I try to change things, change my routine, do something different, even if it's just the short walk to my garden shed. I can potter about in there, clean the bird table, tidy the shed up, and so on.

If I'm up to going out into the real world, I take a walk up to the local park, sit on a bench, and roll a cigarette, and just watch people doing there own thing, like walking their dog.

I find that helps me, don't suppose it will work for everyone, but it's worth a try, good luck.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I relate but for different reasons.

:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Just thought @I'm not Spiderman , aside from specific personal experiences with good times/ bad times/ hope etc, I wonder if being afraid the bottom will fall out is the mind's way of trying to prevent being caught off guard (as before?) & the impact of that?

 

[Friday]

Will I circle around? Yep. That let's me plan for it.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hi Im not Spiderman -

What helps me is to rejoice in the good moments I do have -

And yes, they probably won't last - I think about the nature of all things is that they change

If I try to hold onto the good times, I will be disappointed - So I work on just being present in the moment and deal with whatever the moment brings

And I meditate - I do mindfulness meditation where I work on holding my mind singlpointedly on my breath for a few minutes - Then when I can do that, I watch my mind and when negative thoughts or emotions begin to rise in my mind, instead of following them and letting them make me worry about what might happen in the future or how the future might turn out, I simply recognize them and let them go - no story, no attachment to them and in that way, fears about the future do not arise as often.

And when I get good at that, I realize I can learn to watch my mind when I am interacting in my normal day to day activities and recognize the fear as it arises and let it go before it over takes me.

Wishing you much peace and serenity -

Laurie

 

[I'm not Spiderman]

Glad to know it ain't just me! This is all so useful for me. Thanks all for your time and your comments, I really appreciate it a lot. :hug:

 

[Teasel]

I think the times I feel most desperate to hold on to improvements / feel most fear of losing them is when I'm feeling especially desperate... If that makes sense. Often I can accept quite easily that a happy mood or period of less depression / more productivity will end. I'm thinkin when you're feeling more confident it's a much easier ask?