Feel Like I Have To Police Everyone

[zeropoint]

I am not sure how common this is with PTSD, but I'd imagine it's pretty common. And it's driving me nuts, and I would love to know if there's anything (aside from time, therapy, meditation, maybe meds) that will help to diminish it.

Because I'm hypervigilant and always looking for threats, I find them. Everywhere. I thought that I would feel more empowered if I spoke up when I felt really pushed by things. The stuff that I'm talking about is mostly day-to-day annoyances, like problems that I face because I walk everywhere. Rude/dangerous motorists day in, day out, getting catcalled, erratic bicyclists on the sidewalk (when there's usually a perfectly good bike lane for them to use), really rude guy in coffee shop, etc. While these things would be annoying to most, it's like I take each of them on as a crusade, and then I'm telling the sidewalk cyclists where the bike lane is and telling the catcallers that they are losers and so forth. I don't really feel better for saying anything, but I can't stand the idea of not saying anything. I've been this way about a year now, which was when I got out of the living situation that was my longest, most enduring trauma. I thought that this had faded, but now it's back. I hate being like this and I don't know how to work with it or get through it.

If you've had a similar experience, please do share and also share anything that helped. Thank you.

 

[ms spock]

It is hard. I am sure people will come up with some good ideas for you.

Here are a few suggestions from me @zeropoint.

Breathing and awareness of breath - whilst the situation is occurring.
Changing your focus and counting the good and right things that you pass by and experience during the day.
Grounding yourself. Find techniques that work for you.
Centring yourself. Find techniques that work for you.
Learning strategies to stop your rumination.

 

[Chava]

It's probably not uncommon, but probably manifests in different ways. I worked with someone years ago (she had a trauma history also) who compulsively policed everything about the work environment and called people out on the smallest diversions from the "rules". It was tiring. She did better when really involved in a project.

I don't really give a damn what other people are doing because I'm usually in a sort of bubble when outside of my house. But I am really picky about sounds and have likely annoyed the crap out of maintenance workers at a couple of my workplaces because I couldn't function with certain noises. What becomes background noise for some people makes me a crazy person who can't even do anything.

Another issue I have had is that crusade sort of approach. Not so much with the daily things and all the assholes out there, but feeling like really poor big decisions are being made at work. A past boss wanted to get rid of me because I thought everything she did was going to wreck the whole future. I didn't tell her this exactly, but it's really how I operated. I've just had to back away because my work was seriously threatened at one point. Now it helps to channel some of that (whatever it is) into stuff I can completely control. For me this is often artwork. Sometimes yard work. I need small worlds to control.

 

[shimmerz]

I externalized it. I have different types of ideas due to working with shaman's and holistic people etc. I swear I could not walk down a street at all. Every noise triggered me off. It was serious, serious stuff. So, I will throw this out there.

My spirit animal. I won't go into detail unless this mode of therapy is something that you can attach to though.

 

[Catafly]

I am not sure how common this is with PTSD, but I'd imagine it's pretty common. And it's driving me n...

I have a hyper startled response and I'm hypervigilant. I have PTSD as my primary, major depression, severe anxiety, conversion disorder and slight dissociative disorder. After three years of therapy I've learned certain tools called grounding tools. I've found them valuable to me in life. In times of anxiety, stress, fear, hypervigilance... stop and stimulate one or two of your senses. It's a good idea to have these choices available in a place designated. I have a sound machine, a few pictures of beautiful green gardens I'd like to walk in, a bag of mints, scented wax and a feather... something to keep me mindful and in the moment. You fear not, what is happening NOW... but what you fear might. Write yourself a small note of support and encouragement. Sometimes I find that I am my best support system.????