LoveIsHealing
Bronze Member
I feel so isolated to the point it makes me nauseous everyday. Since even before I was born, my Parents isolated themselves from friends and family. They moved 3,000 miles away from everyone they knew. Really they were running from themselves. They were both alcoholics and my Dad had psychological problems. There was no one else around except for these two angry drunk people...they never had friends. I could not have friends over. We lived in tiny apartments and even motels in shady neighborhoods. I would go to other peoples houses sometimes, but it just made me sad because I would see what a family was supposed to be (not constantly terrified) and I did not want to go home. It was a nightmare.
My Dad died from alcoholism when I was eleven. Since then it has been my Mom and I and our depression and isolation. We just ran...moved all over the country, never happy, always alone. My Mom never wanted to move closer to family because she was so ashamed, she avoided them, but by doing that we had no family support either. We got ourselves into all kinds of weird situations...more bad neighborhoods, shady people around etc.
She stopped drinking after I was in High School, but instead of drinking to hide from problems she just avoided all responsibility and was in denial which made me feel even more alone because I felt responsible for everything. She still doesn't have any friends. I have isolated myself even more. The family that we do see sometimes...we feel like aliens around them.
Niether one of us has our sh*t together still. We have both spent so much time feeling alone and miserable and I'm tired of it. I just don't know what to do, or how to stop feeling so isolated and inferior. I have such anxiety, it keeps me from doing just about anything, and I can hardly remember what doing something fun feels like. I have also started to avoid and shy away from responsibility, which is so not cool!
Anyway, I am just venting. I appreciate the support and would like to hear other peoples experiences. Thank you for reading this long post. :)
My Dad died from alcoholism when I was eleven. Since then it has been my Mom and I and our depression and isolation. We just ran...moved all over the country, never happy, always alone. My Mom never wanted to move closer to family because she was so ashamed, she avoided them, but by doing that we had no family support either. We got ourselves into all kinds of weird situations...more bad neighborhoods, shady people around etc.
She stopped drinking after I was in High School, but instead of drinking to hide from problems she just avoided all responsibility and was in denial which made me feel even more alone because I felt responsible for everything. She still doesn't have any friends. I have isolated myself even more. The family that we do see sometimes...we feel like aliens around them.
Niether one of us has our sh*t together still. We have both spent so much time feeling alone and miserable and I'm tired of it. I just don't know what to do, or how to stop feeling so isolated and inferior. I have such anxiety, it keeps me from doing just about anything, and I can hardly remember what doing something fun feels like. I have also started to avoid and shy away from responsibility, which is so not cool!
Anyway, I am just venting. I appreciate the support and would like to hear other peoples experiences. Thank you for reading this long post. :)
