Feeling Hopeless Again After Group Therapy..

[Ghostybear73]

Let me start by saying how sorry I am that this happened to you. Now, I might interject a different side of the coin. I ended up getting kicked out of DBT for that reason (upsetting others). You have to remember that some of us who have been abused to a point that we have no emotions (or at least we are too numb to feel them) do not necessarily understand the emotional bonds that some people have. Now, I could have and probably should have sugarcoated what I felt or lied about it, but that would have done me no good.

My therapist say's that in reality, it is a group of people who are suffering from some kind of trauma and that should be an expected part of any group, but it doesn't work that way. So my therapist won't let me go back to group until I show some type of emotion. I can pretend all sorts of emotion to my students, my coworkers, my family, pretty much anyone, but I cannot pretend emotion with him, so no group for me.

Anyways, I'm trying to say that when your told to think of something and then are asked how you feel, everyone will have different answers. Some may be more upsetting or hurtful and although it's not right, it does happen. I don't think she should have used your experience as an example.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh I just meant that maybe you need another type of therapy other than DBT to deal with this situation. I know DBT skills are great, but unfortunately they don't help with everything! (And in a way I think that it could be harmful to try and apply one type of therapy to every situation.)

 

[FindingMyself88]

@StrongerNow no, Greyson was actually a white TB/QH gelding, his picture below is attached. Its not the BEST picture of him, but all others are of me and him lol

@Ghostybear73 I understand what you are saying, but she said it as in an answer to my problem. It just has me to the point where I don't want to open up again in group. I have to go, because my Psychiatrist has to report to the school that I am attending my therapies…and normally the Group T is more perceptive…

@Solara yeah, I see what you are saying. My dr wants me to do EMDR therapy also for the abuse and such. My regular T is doing Psychotherapy and a little CBT when my thoughts get really negative..

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Oh my gosh, he is one gorgeous boy!! What a hunk of love :) Thanks for sharing it :)

 

[Ghostybear73]

The light in the background makes him look almost angelic. :)

 

[Leanne1]

Sorry all of that happened. I can relate to you feeling misunderstood in your group. When I feel misunderstood I can obsess about it and become quite overwhelmed. I remind myself that it isn't important to be understood by other people as long as I am trying to understand myself. You sound like you are very in touch with how your moms actions effected you, and the pain of losing your horse and best friend.

You seem to still be grieving. It takes time. The pain will lessen and you will always have the memories of such a wonderful relationship. .

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm probably going to totally embarrass myself by saying this but I will anyway. Some people just don't understand the bond between a human and an animal. (I don't understand a lot of the bonds I see amongst humans, like fans that have apparent breakdowns when something happens to their favorite celebrity, but hey that's just me and a topic for another thread!) I raised livestock and my classmates apparently thought I was a bit nutty. I didn't care. One year my favorite girl died unexpectedly. I fell apart. My parents let me stay home from school and we took her to the livestock vet for an autopsy (yeah, like I said, my animals were THAT important to me!) Ugh it's been almost 20 years and I'm tearing up! So yes, the bonds between a human and an animal can be very strong. I have a bunch of nutty human/animal bonding stories (including my sister who loved them just as much as I did!) but in the interest of not boring everyone with my "back on the farm..." stories, I'll stop while I'm ahead, lol.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

That's beautiful @Solara :cry: and not boring at all!

 

[scout86]

There was something in your post that worried me more than this other person's comment. (BTW, she obviously doesn't get where you're coming from. Doesn't mean you're wrong, doesn't mean she's wrong. She just doesn't get the situation like others do.) What worried me was this:

Now my parents and grandparents are moving up here where I'm at and Im moving in so i can work less and focus on school. Once a month my mom plans to go back to where they live now and stay with these people

So, maybe this is off topic, and maybe this is "just me." I got my first horse when I was 11. I bought him and I paid the bills, so there wasn't much chance of him being sold out from under me. But, we had just the kind of relationship you're talking about. If someone HAD sold him, I'd have left myself and done all I could never to go back. The person responsible would have had to do a pretty fancy song and dance to EVER get back in my life. Beyond my PO'd kid reaction to this, combined with the OTHER information you shared, are you SURE that living with these people is a good idea? Seriously. If I were in your situation, that would be the absolute last thing I'd consider. I'm guessing you must have thought this through, but it doesn't sound like a situation that's going to be good for your mental health. It sounds like a situation that's likely to lead to a lot more turmoil and drama. How do you see this working out?

 

[FindingMyself88]

May have to finish this post after class.

@Solara thank you for sharing, it makes me feel better :)
@scout86 in an ideal world, no I wouldn't live with them, but this isn't an ideal world. For the past 2 years I've lived in a college apartment, but my injuries and health since June has worsened tremendously. I have not worked in 2 months. No work = no pay. Plus even when I do start working again, it will be limited. Another

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Your mom is going to go back and stay with her adulterer once a month?

 

[FindingMyself88]

Sorry guys, just got home from school. @Solara yes, she is "best friends" with his wife and babysat their down syndrome daughter until she was 4. She is going home once a month or so to see the little girl. I don't know if they had anything going after that year, but you can see my concern…

@scout86 to continue lol. Other reasons include Apartment life is causing me anxiety with the banging upstairs and partying. Then there is the situation that I will be getting a service dog for my PTSD sometime this year hopefully and the apartment said why they cannot kick me out for that, they can decide whether or not to renew my lease… So yeah, I wish I didn't have to but right now its necessary...