Feeling Like An Absolute Failure

[noir wonder]

"Marie10" Thank you for posting, I appreciate your thoughts. I did find a place for rent where i will feel a lot more comfortable then I usually do. I will have to check that song out. Lately I have been listening to a song called "dirty old town" byThe Pogues.

 

[Marie10]

I'm glad to hear you've found a place you feel comfortable. Do something soothing like a bath, candles, soothing music, etc. everyday if you can. It's rituals like this that help cultivate peace and being true to yourself in whatever way you find it. Also, good for you to get out of situations that are unhealthy. Always have a plan B, this is my 2 cents. The song is wonderful and although I may be older in age, I've found it to be true. I'm also a mom of two boys (one adult, one teenager) and I just want you to know that for myself, I've seen pretty incredible things, meaning that the things and people I spent so much energy on turned out to not be so perfect and have had to deal with their share of disappointment. Not that I wish this but life can be funny. It's not fair but sometimes it will surprise you. Keep doing your thing and stay healthy.

 

[noir wonder]

Ok, so I just found out from my roommates landlord ( the one with the mom) that my roommate has been black balling me with the rent amount and utilities, his insurance covered everything so he made 1000 percent profit off me and then he told the landlord that I broke into his old place but the landlord knows me and my character so he knew I didn't, and so I realised that he's not getting rid of me for his mom who isn't moving in by the way but so it would lower the chances of me running into the landlord. He just wanted a free ride and tricked me into thinking he was a friend just to pull this over on me.

 

[rightkindofme]

That is terrible. I'm so sorry. :(

 

[Philippa]

Your mother sounds a lot like mine.

It would be nice if we all could lean on our family, as someone here suggested, but that isn't always realistic. Some peoples families are the reason they are depressed in the first place, and they aren't helpful in any real way, but actually harmful. Mine are claiming they are there for me, but it's too late.

They noticed I was depressed 20 years after I'd already been through it and making it obvious that I was. There is nothing they can say or do that will be helpful to me and they don't know how to listen or just sit with me without criticizing or making some insensitive comment that makes me feel even worse than I already do, so...pretty much they are useless to me. It sounds the same for you too.

I also know what it's like to live in a big city on your own while you are experiencing these issues, and trying to make it on your own, without any real friends...it's damn hard. It takes so long to even find the right place to live and the right people to be around...even when you aren't depressed. When you are though, it is ten times harder. I feel for you.

Sorry to hear about your room mate. He sounds like an A-1 Douche.

Welcome to the forum. There are lots of understanding, empathic and genuine people here. I'm sure it will take the edge off your reality at the moment...until things can improve a bit at least.