Feeling "loveless" Around Children

[miss_isolated]

Hi,

My niece is visiting tomorrow and I feel happy to see her yet... very bloody anxious. I find children quite draining and I get cold and stiff and boring around them, it's almost as if I'm cold-blooded with no love inside of me. I have no children myself - I wonder if this is why. Or is it because I can't relate to them because I wasn't a "normal" child. I feel jealous around them because their so full of life.

I know people think I'm "mean" when they see me around children because I'm not doting and playful toward children. I think it's mainly because I'm a female that people view me this way. They say "What's the matter, don't you want to play with the baby?" or their thinking it and I can just sense it. To them my behavior/body language is unacceptable. I feel somewhat like a child trapped in a woman's body, like I'm not a real woman/person.

 

[Tarot]

*hugs* You are not alone. I like children, but I would rather die than have my own. They drain me as well. I think babies are overrated. I can't feign interest at all. "Wow. Another baby who will most likely grow up to kill the planet in some way. Whoopie."

So don't feel bad. It's not you. It's just a trigger of sorts that brings out understandably painful memories and emotions. Do what you feel comfortable doing and act how you feel like acting. You don't owe anyone an explanation either.

PS I also get the jealousy thing too. My jealousy was always regarding how I see how they are allowed to have friends and play sports and go to the mall, etc. I always wonder how my life would have been if I actually had someone in my life who truly cared about me growing up and allowed me to be a child/teen.

 

[Tarot]

Let us know how the visit goes today. Thinking about you. :thumbsup:

 

[miss_isolated]

Let us know how the visit goes today. Thinking about you. :thumbsup:

She just left, boy is she tall now! I feel proud of her. Although I feel sensitive when children get bossy because it makes me feel sad :help: lol

It got like that quite a bit, it must be tough to have kids!

 

[Tarot]

Sounds like it was a good visit for the most part for the both of you. :) Glad it went well. And, yes, it appears very tough to have kids-- exactly why I don't ever want any of my own! lol