Relationship Feeling Low...

[Vivian Langston]

Husband just recently came home from a 7 day stint in the hospital for observation and analysis. While he was there I visited often and we talked about our expectation in the relationship and how I could help him with his recovery. I knew it was a long road to go and recovery is an everyday battle but I had hope that we might have found the help he needed.

Needless to say I think I might of been wrong. He hasn't really responded to me or the kids, still sleeping well into the afternoon.

The icing on the cake was today when he wanted to buy a two hundred plus item and we really didn't have the money. I voiced my opinion that it was more of an impulse buy and let's wait a few days to see if its really something he wanted. He responded with a snappy 'okay, I'll put it back'. He then proceeded to act like I wasn't even there.

We went to dinner with family and he cussed me at the restaurant. I feel like I am giving this relationship my all. We do have two very young kids together but today hurt more than ever. I thought I saw some light in this situation but he quickly snuffed it out.

Sad doesn't begin to discribe how I feel :(

 

[JohnJohn]

Vivian,

Hang in there. There are good and bad days. Try and focus on yourself if you can. You should be the constant in the family and relationship. We can not control loved ones, much less their emotions. Do the best you can. Everyday is a struggle for me too. I am largely a single parent to a four year old while trying to hold a marriage together in between that and a full time job.

It helps to have a positive attitude and guide loved ones with your positive Outlook. It does not make the stress to go away, but find some coping skills or what you think is best for you. Bottom line is that you must take care of yourself. The kids need a strong parent and my little girl helps pull me out of dark moments.

Look at your needs, find motivation from your children and then live life as best you can.

Good luck and you are not alone out there.

 

[Mtnativecohome]

It sounds like very similar conversations I have.. Hang in there, I too am holding down the job, household, etc while he sleeps and plays video games.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Hi Vivian, sorry to read of your trials.

From my experience, it's therapy that elicits healing not the obs/eval in hospital.

Did he get a diagnosis or meds?

 

[Vivian Langston]

Pale Warrior
Hr has been diagnosed with PTSD and tramatic brain injury about 5 years ago. He has off and on taken meds and been hospitalized multiple times. This time was basically a last resort for getting hum help. He is currently taking meds and has been to his first follow up therapy appointment since being released and I am hoping he continues with both. I am affriad I put so much hope into Madurai this was finally the help he need to get better that when he came home worse than before it crushed my spirits :/

 

[Pale Warrior]

Oh gosh, that's tough Vivian,

My OH has PTSD and TBI, so I respect your position. It's vile when the reality bites.

We are 11 years down the line from diagnosis and in recent months have had some breakthroughs. Small victories. My man refused meds after a short exposure, jeepers did I hate him for that. I think I was hoping for some "magic pill" and when he refused...

I managed to negotiate in some complimentary therapies on the back of his decision and, despite his protestations, found some respite. Particularly aromatherapy massage of all things, but also good results with self hypnosis and meditation. Have you gone down that road at all?