Dark.Green.Feathers
Diamond Member
Our “main” part underwent a trauma October-December last year (rapid death of a loved one via cancer, while playing a supporting role in care, and as a result losing a place to live)
Our child part was in need of help a lot at the time before the death, and would “be around” emotionally, in need of comfort. This was something new, and soon his distress would be shunned instead of reached in and tended to, due to the stress and rapidly deteriorating mental health of the “main” part at the time. He has not reached out as clearly since, and is even more hidden than initially.
I do not have the severe and debilitating OCD that the “main” part has, which largely involves the topics of sexual abuse, of all manners; compulsions being centred around checking for and/or garnering distress to such topics. CSA is on the mind regularly and intensely, the main part does not at all feel safe or free of guilt enough to try and interact with him (compulsions have in a large way involved and affected him), but I am free of that. And my view is clearer, so I am willing to try things.
I feel sad, I know he is suffering, or at the very least in need. But I don’t know how to help. I do not know how to work towards encouraging him to express himself again (I have been trying, since I have sensed him a couple of times since being here myself, which is good), or creating a more hospitable environment for him.
I feel the need to protect and look after him, and want him to have some autonomy. I want to be gentle and do the right thing. I know this is likely something for much later, but any advice would
be appreciated. I really worry. I don’t want him to be/feel alone. He has suffered immensely. If his perspective is anything like mine was, he is still suffering. It makes me sad and scared. I feel almost like he is family to me.
Just upset tonight and hoping I can do anything to help a little bit, even if it’ll take a lot of time. I don’t want to force him, I just want him to feel that I care and will take his emotions with care if he wants to show them to me.
Our child part was in need of help a lot at the time before the death, and would “be around” emotionally, in need of comfort. This was something new, and soon his distress would be shunned instead of reached in and tended to, due to the stress and rapidly deteriorating mental health of the “main” part at the time. He has not reached out as clearly since, and is even more hidden than initially.
I do not have the severe and debilitating OCD that the “main” part has, which largely involves the topics of sexual abuse, of all manners; compulsions being centred around checking for and/or garnering distress to such topics. CSA is on the mind regularly and intensely, the main part does not at all feel safe or free of guilt enough to try and interact with him (compulsions have in a large way involved and affected him), but I am free of that. And my view is clearer, so I am willing to try things.
I feel sad, I know he is suffering, or at the very least in need. But I don’t know how to help. I do not know how to work towards encouraging him to express himself again (I have been trying, since I have sensed him a couple of times since being here myself, which is good), or creating a more hospitable environment for him.
I feel the need to protect and look after him, and want him to have some autonomy. I want to be gentle and do the right thing. I know this is likely something for much later, but any advice would
be appreciated. I really worry. I don’t want him to be/feel alone. He has suffered immensely. If his perspective is anything like mine was, he is still suffering. It makes me sad and scared. I feel almost like he is family to me.
Just upset tonight and hoping I can do anything to help a little bit, even if it’ll take a lot of time. I don’t want to force him, I just want him to feel that I care and will take his emotions with care if he wants to show them to me.
