Feeling So Guilty This Ptsd Is Affecting My Family

[Shellbell]

Thank you Violet03 for the hug. Really need a hug this morning.

It's good we are able to vent on here about how hard it all is every day. And to know that we are not alone in these daily struggles.

Having a family - a husband and young children complicates things a lot as it's not just us to worry about. It makes it all so much harder. Knowing it affects them is so hard and the guilt is immense.

But, on the other hand when it gets beyond hard, I have my children to live for. Even when things get unbearable, I know I must keep going for them as I could never let them hurt all their life - having had a mother who killed herself. I can't and won't do that to them.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Shellbell. I am glad you are here. You are such a light of love and compassion for so many here. I just know your family is very blessed to have you. Big hugs.

 

[Shellbell]

Awww thanks Gizmo, that made my eyes fill up. You are very sweet. I am very glad you are here too :hug:

 

[mamachick]

Shellbell-when my last child was born 22 yrs ago, I developed chronic fatigue syndrome immediately and fibromyalgia. I had a 13 yr old and an 18 month old already. I felt pretty guilty. I was exhausted and kept chugging along. I do think there is more of a stigma with a mental illness, however, cfids and fibro was, and still is misunderstood or the origin is unknown. Personally, I think it was a ptsd coming out physically. At any rate, what kept me fighting for my wellness was those who loved me. Yet I felt guilty and that I was a burden and didnt carry my weight at times.

I only develeped ptsd after the empty nest. I feel like a horrible burden to my family. I feel horribly guilty. In my head, I know it is wrong for me to feel this way. Even though my children are grown, they love me and need me in their life. I need my heart to catch up in the thinking. I dont have the answer, but we have to rid of this guilt-it serves not good purpose and will have negative effects on us. I know that having young children makes things more difficult and complex, but it is also a blessing as it gives you a reason. Some days I feel I have absolutely no purpose-my job is done. Keep working through that guilt, you deserve to be free of that. Hugs

 

[Shellbell]

Thank you brat17, I really appreciate your and everyones comments and support :hug:.

Having chronic fatigue and fibro is incredibly delibilitating and really painful and yes it sounds like it was the PTSD coming out in physical symptoms first that went on to being full blown PTSD after your children left home. I can understand having all that with young children was all extremely hard and you obviously did a truly amazing job with your children now grown loving you and needing you.

I know I need to just suck it up more and try to focus on the positives of what I do, rather than the negatives. And they do give me reason and they are the reason I get up each morning and try the best I can.

 

[mamachick]

Thanks shellbell. I am not suggesting you just suck it up though. I think there must be some path (I dont know how) to relieve ourselves of overwhelming guilt though. I know for myself how self-destructive it is these days. I do know that you deserve to be guilt free-you did not chose this and I am sure that you make up for the negative aspects of ptsd 1000 times every day with your family.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear brat, and Shellbell, I think you both do. No, I know you do. For your family's sakes do believe how much you mean to them and that they need you and to them the ptsd is irrelevant.

I wonder if perhaps the relief is in changing the focus- forgetting. Somewhere it seems to lie in being vulnerable (very very difficult). In being able to hear or accept about ourselves what we ourselves find hard to imagine, like our worth.

(((((Very Big Hugs to All, xox))))

 

[Tanishq]

To Dear Shellbell, Movin'On, gizmo, Britt.

You all are full of love and good mothers, indeed. I believe in you all.

:hug:

 

[Shellbell]

Thank you so much Jaret and Junebug :hug:

Thank you for believing in all us Mum's on here who struggle, but do our best and have the right heart towards being Mum's.

We love our children and do everything we can every day.

We didn't chose to have PTSD or the events that caused it, but despite that, we do chose to love and cherish our children. And I have no doubt that we all do a much better job than we ever realise.

 

[Tanishq]

Thank you for believing in all us Mum's on here who struggle,

Always Shellbell.

I have no doubt that we all do a much better job than we ever realise.

you know, this also opened my eyes. :)