Feeling So Low...

[mrsmegan]

I am just feeling super low today.

I self-harmed yesterday - and it was bad. The worst I have ever done. I thought that I should maybe have it looked at as it could require stitches, but I did not want to go in and admit that I did it myself.

Looking at it today, it is the first time I have really scared myself. What am I doing? Why?

I don't know what I need or what I am looking for...I'm just really struggling.

 

[trying2movefwd]

Im sorry you have been feeling that bad. But honestly, if it is that deep you need to get it checked out, you could end up with an infection. Its also a way of possibly getting yourself the help you need. TaKe care.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I agree with @trying2movefwd. I have so many scars that wouldn't e so bad if I had gotten the right medical care. Please take care of yourself.

 

[mrsmegan]

I know that you are probably right - I just can't bring myself to do it....

It's not that the cuts are deep, per se, but more that they are really wide. So even if I did go - I don't know how they could stitch it closed because they are close together.

Ugh, I'm sorry.

My husband is so sad - and so am I. I just don't know what to do. Why am I so messed up?

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm not a medical person but I know there are other ways of "suturing" wounds including a type of glue. I hope you can seek medical help. There are things that can be done to reduce the appearance of scars but it's usually best to do whatever you can to minimize scarring as you heal.

 

[Friday]

Just because you don't see how they could treat it doesn't mean that you shouldn't go. Let them worry about how to do their jobs.

Gashes often gape. Those are the ones that need closing more than most, and are super prone to infection -almost as prone as punctures are- & other problems if not treated.

As far as explaining that you did it to yourself? You don't have to.

 

[mrsmegan]

Just wanted to say thanks for everyone who responded. I did go to urgent care yesterday - there is nothing they can do, but the doctor did write me a prescription for antibiotics just in case.

It was incredibly hard to do that - I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. It was awful.

I got an emergency session with my T this morning and it was good to process some of it. I see him again tomorrow.