Feeling Terrible....and Sorry.

[J'aime]

For those of you who saw my anger lash out, I am sorry. I am having an extremely hard day with this crappy disorder, and I cannot seem to pull myself together. I had ignored that one guy who says he likes to "Lurk and Learn" because he scares the sh*t out of me, and I didn't want to see anything more that he had to say. So I had no idea that he had asked how to delete himself, and I thought I was being told to go away.

It was heart-breaking to me, and of all the days to feel like that, today was not the day. I have been suffering flashbacks, breakdowns, and anxieties all day long, and I was just spilling over into an emotional mess. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, and I'm sorry any of you had to read what hateful things I said. That being said, I think everyone here has had these unreasonable, unjustified outbursts of hatred and anger, and you can probably understand.

Yet, that does not excuse my poor behavior. I am a mess today, and the world has turned up-side-down on me it seems. I felt rejected, in the one place I feel safe telling people my issues and struggles. But I realize now that I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Thank you Eleanor, for emailing me to clear this up. Again, I am sorry if I offended anybody.

I

 

[Lucille]

It's ok, J'aime. We totally understand. Hope you can get back on track very soon! Don't forget, we are here for you. Try not to let one incident side track you from the goal - we are going to squash PTSD together! Hugs Hugs Hugs for you during this tough time :inlove:

 

[amethist]

J'aime, if you are feeling so bad, the best thing you can do is take some down time from the forum.

It is what we advise anyone to do, when this happens, and better to suggest it, than it be forced on you by a temporary ban.

Go for a walk if you can, do something away from here. Calm down more, then come back either in a few hours or tomorrow.

If you know a post could do this, then best not be here until you can post in a calm and responsible manner.

Take care

Amethist

 

[J'aime]

I think I will go take my daughter for a walk. It's the first nice day we've had in this cold Montana winter. Thank you for the suggestion. I will take a break. xoxo

 

[KP the nut]

Enjoy your walk with your daughter. Nature for me is so healing and helps to put my PTSD into perspective. It seems to calm my mind.

Take care J'aime
KP

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Take care of yourself J'amie. Don't let your self get to weary. Your health and safety are important.

 

[Srain]

I hope you are feeling better.

Peace,
Rain

 

[J'aime]

Thank you everybody for your support, and not hating me for what a b-word I can be! ;) Yesterday was a very bad day for me, but today is so, so, so much better!! I didn't have the strength or positivity yesterday to pray, so I asked my fiance to pray for me when he went to mass without me. I feel at peace today, and am feeling like a different person than yesterday. Oddly enough, I think sometimes we need the 'bad days' to help us remember what the good days are like, and to remind us that many GOOD DAYS are ahead.

You all are so kind and understanding and accepting. Thank you, so very much!! xoxoxoxo to all!!