Feeling Unwanted And Unloved

[Sandra]

Only I was abused by my imediate family as my siblings were my so called mother's favourites. And my father was also an abuser and an addict. Notice how my marriage was so much like my father's behaviours.

 

[Sandra]

Some people call me the hugging woman! I am a hugger with real expertise and experience!

:D

We are probably like this because we never got that growing up and missed that and needed that.

 

[Sandra]

My siblings needed a punching bag, something to express what they were getting from insane parents or..wait, an insane dad, and my mom who was battered wife syndrome all the way...

Did they stay together?

 

[ms spock]

So true James B. I guess this really hit home with Ms Spock and myself.

And I have been weeping with relief and sadness.

Margaret Atwood once said in an interview that if communities and individuals didn't have their reality reflected back to them in the art and music etc of their time and place, that they are made unreal and that there is nothing to validate their lived experience.

ms spock

 

[James B.]

Did they stay together?

Yes, amazingly they did, till the end Sandra. Well over 50 years.

 

[James B.]

And I have been weeping with relief and sadness.

me too...

 

[Sandra]

Yes, amazingly they did, till the end Sandra. Well over 50 years.

My parents stayed together too. But I don't think they should have.

 

[Sandra]

I don't think we really look so deeply within ourselves like we have tonight. So needless to say we really touched some raw areas. But we do need to deal with these issues even though we might not want to.

 

[James B.]

My parents stayed together too. But I don't think they should have.

me either...

Mine stayed together by default, sort of...that seems the best way of explaining it. Their relationship was extremely toxic and messed up...in the end, I guess...he won. She was cooked from trying to reconcile it all. But still standing up, he was completely mentally ill and wouldn't have withstood a 72 hour MH eval; no way.

 

[James B.]

But we do need to deal with these issues even though we might not want to.

Yes, Sandra, we do...

 

[Sandra]

I think with my so called mother, she didn't want to work and that is why she stayed with him.

 

[James B.]

I think with my so called mother, she didn't want to work and that is why she stayed with him.

My folks had property together, they were the "estate building" team...remote emotionally, never spoke to me once as a regular human being, and never said ' i love you' and so on...

it is fortunate my siblings, father and mother stopped (the abuse) where they did, because my sister, she understood, and had similar reason to consider legal action or other means to destroy them...simply out of abused animal aggression.