Wow, what a cheering section! Fire, that is awesome. Your courage and your "I can" attitude is catchy, and if not that, it certainly challenges.
I'm glad you started this thread (bty good job). I was going to start something smiliar, but I have to be honest in saying it would not have come out quite this postive an motivating.
Concerning my feelings and thoughts on the issue of the great chunks of my life that I have missed out on:
Today as I was driving home from running errands and feeling alittle stupid because I sat on my glasses and they broke, me being blind as a bat without them, I had to go out, get to the LensCrafters to take care of the matter, when all I wanted to do today is stay home and rest.
Anyway back to the topic. This morning my husband and I had one of those "serious talks" about what I feel I need right now to make it thru various circumstances I face and which tend to limit me and my husband and kids due to my "limitations" right now.
I feel great frustration at feeling I am not functioning to my "fullest" and the issue of acceptance. Quite a hefty and frustrating topic for me right now.
Anyway, The "middle" part of my life certainly has not turned the way I or my husband thought it would. We certainly are not were we thought we'd be at this point in our lives.
I thought I'd have a career by now, not a huge, but something that I could do to help others and in the process helping myself. That "dreamer" part of me that has gotten somewhat "crushed" my this PTSD.
Actually this very morning I was revisiting these desires and dreams to see if anything could be salvaged from the "wreckage of my life". We'll I think, just maybe....
I had gotten my graduate master's degree back in 1993, in counseling and therapy and was more than half way to my licensure when, boom, in 1995 my life spiralled very quickly downward into a dark pit I never thought I would get out of.
Today, I thought for the very first time since 1995, that maybe I could try to start the licensure process over again, maybe not right now, but to atleast look into what would be necessary to begin this process. It is overhwleming this whole process, but I won't go there right now.
I had this sort of dreamy idea that one day I would like to get a "handle" on this PTSD stuff in my life and perhaps counsel others, to encourage them and help them to gain as much function in their life as is possible.
Its that crazy? I usually do not share that I have my master's a degree in counseling, because then people sometimes measure me with a "heavier" and "tougher" standard than other suffers.
I realized with the the previous counselor before we moved, he had PTSD and It meant alot to me that he had "inside" knowledge and I felt more understood than I did with other counselors and this helped alot. Could I use my prsonal struggle with PTSD in a positive way?
I don't know if I could really handle too much, or all that pressure and responsibility I'd have for other PTSD suffers under my care. It's a scary thought. Maybe, however I could come up with something that would not be quite as pressuring and yet would give alittle purpose to my life. Something in the middle perhaps? I don't want to have to deal with those "d**" insurance company's, but they are sort of a necessary evil.
When faced with suicidal clients and all the other complications, I don't think I could handle that. Maybe leading helpful, informative workshops and support for "survivors" rather than one on one counseling.
It's just a thought. Back 6 years I go I had written a book, no, not published, but in rough draft form. I love to write. maybe a book. Aww, like my dad, I am a big dreamer, but not a lot of "footer" if you know what I mean.
This thread has altleast inspired me to think beyond what could be in my life.
