Feelings Of Shame :(

[Desiresdestiny]

I'm struggling with this feeling and wanted to know how everyone deals with it? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!!

 

[nimkekaa]

I work hard on telling myself why it wasn't my fault as often as I can. I also talk to people I trust about my feelings and then try hard to believe what they say. I will also tell myself that I trust these people and therefore I trust what they say. So I guess it's a lot of self talk.

 

[piratelady]

I struggle with feelings of shame and guilt as well. I think talking about in in therapy would help, but at this point I haven't been able to work up the courage to do that. There is some information about shame on the wiki site.

 

[Desiresdestiny]

Nimkekaa and Piratelady

Thanks for the feedback... Yes I've been bringing it up in therapy for the last couple of sessions and my T has started having me do some inner child work... It's terrifying trying to look back at my 4 years of trauma and try to validate a hurting child cause I just feel so ashamed of my inner child aka myself.....

I know I need to find a way to start validating that part of me that feel damaged, used and betrayed but I am just terrified of going into a dark place...

I'm thinking maybe I should write a letter to myself or something..

 

[Ruckster]

Writing can be good. When my PTSD started I thought I was going crazy. I had all these ugly emotions and I didn't think I could tell anyone about them so I started writing to myself. I had never told a soul about my trauma and so I started telling it to myself on paper. It was private and confidential and I knew I could destroy it if I wanted to. No one will judge things you write just to yourself. Sometimes I write down the parts of my story I am getting ready to share with my therapist. Stuff that has never been said out loud can be "practiced" being said on paper first.

 

[Desiresdestiny]

Thank for sharing your experience Ruckster; yes that def helpful...

 

[Froggie]

When life has baffled us at young ages, we do things wrong ... but our intellegience tells us afterwards that we should have known better like "normal" people ... the hic is we didn't have "normal conditionning nor upbringing", it took me years to get over the obsessional part of the shame. Yes I do still feel some shame about certain things, mostly because I can't repair it as I've lost contact with those I hurt. So I pray for them and for me and do some forgiving exercises that my T showed me. I was lucky to have her as she was opened to my spiritual needs.