@Parley - great handle first of all! I'm curious of two things. One have you read my back story? And two what do you mean by Maybe...my wife has her own issues and ... ready to talk? Sorry I can't quote on my iPhone for some reason.
Thank you.
I have read some of your back story which is why I chose to respond. I read a man that said he wanted to save his marriage but seems to have nothing but hostility and contempt for a woman that responds in kind. or vise versa? 23 years is a long time and it's sad to read.
My husband has not and probably wouldn't research PTSD. He didn't marry a woman with PTSD, 25 years ago, he married a woman with trauma and that is what we work around but he's too good to tolerate bad behavior. There are plenty of people in the world willing to beat us down so we both keep a check on what we allow in our relationship.
I can only assume your wife knew you had issues because your step dad was your abuser? if you were triggered and those issues are more than she can handle, I feel bad for the both of you. Many people can't handle other people's PTSD but I don't think it makes them a vial person. It's hard and not for everyone but she will always be the mother of your children.
It must be hard to be the one with PTSD and being the sole provider. I know being beat down with the Bible can't help the situation. We get lost in raising our children and forget to put our spouses first. In the end, our children leave and we are left with the relationship we have build with our spouse or the destruction of a marriage.
Many people with ptsd doubt their spouse will stick with them and always expecting them to leave and I can't help but wonder if your wife knows there is nothing she can say to put you at ease. I hope that is the case and yall can figure this out before you hurt each other beyond repair. If your marriage comes to an end, I hope it's mutual and done with respect for each other, your children, and yall's history.
I don't know your wife so I can't speculate on what her issues could be. I was just saying that sometimes we need to figure things out before we can discuss them. Before I was triggered into dealing with my past, I went to see a therapist. A few days later, I received a letter from someone I ended contact with a few years prior and it made him wonder what was going on. A few days later, I got a call from someone wanting me to meet someone else and he asked "what the hell happened". I think it was rhetorical but I said I didn't know. A few days later, I had to fess up that I went to see a therapist. (obviously a shitty one but one all the same)
My husband has always been a great supporter and would have supported me seeing a therapist but I didn't tell him because I didn't know how I felt about it. It had nothing to do with him and I needed to figure out before I was ready to talk.
we are in totally two different situations but don't go digging your hole too deep based on assumptions. Ptsd is hard on everyone involved and I truly hope you two can work this out and become stronger as individuals and as a couple.
