'field Trip' Would Your/has Your T Gone Out Of The Office?

[Panda Bear]

To start, the holidays hold many different trauma triggers for me. One being the whiteness of my fathers suicide when I was 8.

My T and I have been doing some major damage control this year. I'm usually checked out/ unable to process trauma from about late Oct till mid Jan. But we're really pushing though this year to try and end they cycle, especially as we are nearing the end of our work.

He asked me this week if I would ever consider letting him go with me to my dads grave. I generally go alone and we've discussed the process that I have, in length. Feelings when I go, etc.

T said if I want him to join me this year. all I had to do was ask and he would do it.

Thoughts?

 

[Friday]

My best therapy has been out of office.

 

[ButterflyBean]

I say go for it, you have nothing to lose, especially if he is the one who offered. However, I have one question. Why are you "nearing the end of your work" if you are still unable to process trauma for that period of time? I'm sure there is more to the story, but I'm just trying to understand the situation. :)

 

[Chosen]

I think that is amazing that your T is willing to do that. I would gladly take that kind of support if offered.

 

[Ronin]

I'd go for it.

My most functional therapy has been camping / hunting / road trips. I need movement and nature like breathing. Only slightly less.

 

[Panda Bear]

@HollyBeans27
I've been with T for 3.5yrs and we are really rounding the corner as far as work goes. Probably another year maybe? I see us wrapping up this time next year. So to me, that is rounding the corner since we've hung out for so long already! The push is for me to finally deal with the holiday mess now, instead of waiting another year, like I've done for the past 3yrs.

We've tons of other work around my fathers death, but only certain triggers and feelings arise during these few months, hence the push. It's time, I'm capable. Just wasn't in the past.

Letting him stand next to me at a place that has been only mine is a very odd thought. It's been my ritual, my weakness. Its a different thought for sure! But, I do trust him, his judgment and he has worked tirelessly to gain my trust and keep it over the years. And I'm super crabby and mean at times, he hasn't wavered once.

I'm thinking I will take him up on his offer.

 

[SeaQuel]

Maybe he views it as a form of prolonged exposure therapy? In any case, I would definitely take the support he is offering, absolutely.

My therapist has said the only way she would ever be able to see me outside of the office would be in a hospital (if I got into an car accident, for example, or for some other reason). She said any other visitation would be a violation of professional ethics.

 

[Panda Bear]

@SeaQuel

My biggest issue this time of year is the desire 'to go home'. I have an internal pull to be/exist in or at the places I as traumatized. I usually act on my pull to go to his grave when it comes to me, but I never feel anything when I go alone. He wants to be with me while I'm there, he wants to be apart of my pain so that I can feel it and be free from it.

He has never told he wouldn't do anything, like leave the office. Except for touch me, he promises not to touch me. My biggest fear.

 

[SeaQuel]

he wants to be apart of my pain so that I can feel it and be free from it.

He's trying to give you a witness. Makes total sense.

 

[shimmerz]

From my experience, his accompanying you to the grave sight will change how your brain processes the experience. It will never be the same again..... and visiting a grave is really freaking hard.

Sounds like an awesome T.

 

[Panda Bear]

@shimmerz
Then that would make sense. I go alone, and feel nothing. He'll ask me how my trip was and how it felt....I might say "it was pretty". T will sigh....

Very curious how this whole thing will play out. And yes, he is an awesome T.

 

[Panda Bear]

We have set a date, I accepted his offer, asked him to join me and we will go December 8th. T will meet me there, then we will have our regular session later that day.