I was just wondering if and when your introduced him/her to your friends, if it was negative or positive. My boyfriend is a marine and has always been negative about having friends in general. He really doesn't think of anyone that close to him besides me, his family, and his fellow marines. He's met a few of my closest friends last month and it went fine. However the other night he met a few other friends and definitely would've fought one of them had I not been there. He had a couple drinks, so perhaps the alcohol had made it worse. Overall, it was a long walk and long drive home with him being angry and yelling. When him and my friend were getting into it I had to kind of steer him away from them. He would say things that I was toxic to him and that I chose my friends over him. The next morning he apologized to me, saying he's lucky to have someone like me. He also said that this is why he doesn't go out, he can't do with people and that things happen. A few things triggered him like some random drunk guy put his hand on my shoulder while my boyfriend and I were talking(my boyfriend twisted his arm and kicked him out of the bar btw), I'm sure the atmosphere didn't help either. I never pressured him to go out and I've gone out with friends before and he was fine. I always ask him if he would like to join, most of the time he says no but he decided to go with me this time. He's been nothing but sweet to me, and I can't really explain to my friends how he is because they don't know anyone with PTSD. Anyway I just wanted to know other people's experiences when your SO meets your friends.
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Relationship How Has Your Experiences To Your So Meeting Your Friends Been?
- Post starter idkhelen
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As a sufferer, I look askance at anyone new coming into my life. I am-because hypervigilance is part of the package-searching to find anything that means they could be a potential threat. I can usually tuck it away but there are times I can't. I'm not military so I don't react aggressively, instead I simply find a way to not be there or to drive them off. I can see why your boyfriend may have reacted the way he did because he is military.
If you feel like you need to explain to your friends (because people can get pretty heated about stuff in the normal run of the mill) you can tell them he has PTSD from the military. While they may not know much about it, it's all over varied forms of media these days and they won't stay ignorant long. You may get some weird questions, but in most cases they may actually be trying to understand.
Just follow it up from there.
I hope this helps at least a little.
If you feel like you need to explain to your friends (because people can get pretty heated about stuff in the normal run of the mill) you can tell them he has PTSD from the military. While they may not know much about it, it's all over varied forms of media these days and they won't stay ignorant long. You may get some weird questions, but in most cases they may actually be trying to understand.
Just follow it up from there.
I hope this helps at least a little.
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- #3
Sweetpea76
VIP Member
My vet hates all my friends.
He also is a shit about my job, when I go to my kids' activities, or make any kind of plans.
I think he is jealous of my time more than anything.
He also is a shit about my job, when I go to my kids' activities, or make any kind of plans.
I think he is jealous of my time more than anything.
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- #4
Good to know I'm not alone. Within the short time he met a few of my friends he already created a long list of what he didn't like about them saying that he can read people easily and can tell whether they're a good person or not.
- Post starter
- #5
I've explained to them that our relationship is a bit different because of it and they still find it hard to understand why I stay in the relationship. Majority of the time he's the sweetest guy I know, only time we've ever really had a problem seems to be whenever alcohol is involved at least. When he's sober he's able to control himself better when there are triggers around him, I've noticed that when he drinks is when he just allows his anger to control him. He doesn't really drink so that's not a problem. He only drinks to socialize.
TheMinsterman
Gold Member
Mine has yet to meet my friends in person, but she is now talking to my best friend via social media, they seem to be getting along really well, my friend knows some things but not every thing, their convos tend to chug along at a good pace and they get along quite well as far as I know. My best friend is... honestly, amazing. She's very understanding, she's been encouraging me to keep strong and that my SO/ExSO is working through this in her own way and needs time and support, so she's probably a good friend for her to know.
I brought my vet around my friends after about 5 months (Long distance relationship and I was traveling quite a bit for work and moved away from friends). The meet and greet was pretty good, it was a fun long drunken night- wedding. The next event gathering was 3 months later. He took to my friends pretty well vice versa and after that he was all about making the plans to get together with them and we all even went on vacation together, which was a blast for all! I may be in a different situation though, at least from others I meet, they have never heard of someone having the same "click" or "best friends" that we grew up with since childhood. We are a pretty tight bunch as we grew up together and have always done most everything together as a group. Not too many people come into the circle, but if it is someone we bring in and trust, they are taken in and excepted. They love him, he loves them and they know I love him. We don't judge and try to accept all that come around or at least give them a chance. Most of us get a good "read" on people so that's what we go from, but try to at least give the benefit of the doubt. Don't get me wrong, I make friends all the time as I am a social butterfly, but I already have "my friends", so those new one's I confide in.
My vet doesn't really care for any of my friends. Has snide things to say about them sometimes.
But then again, he doesn't really seem to care for any of his friends either and makes snide comments about them too.
With that being said, he still hangs out with friends at least once a week, sometimes twice, I'm invited to hang with them when he goes, and he brought me around his family within the first few weeks.
Basically.....I think that PTSD f*cks up anything to do with any relationship for him. He's going to talk sh*t about them to me to make it seem like he doesn't care, but hangs out with them regularly, so I think he does. He's going to talk sh*t about my friends either to make me feel bad or because he's jealous or because maybe he doesn't like them. He is never rude to them, though. He is (surprisingly) fun and charming when he is around my friends. And I have no idea at all why he brought me around his family so soon, but I'm not complaining. I love his family.
PTSD + relationships = who the hell ever knows
But then again, he doesn't really seem to care for any of his friends either and makes snide comments about them too.
With that being said, he still hangs out with friends at least once a week, sometimes twice, I'm invited to hang with them when he goes, and he brought me around his family within the first few weeks.
Basically.....I think that PTSD f*cks up anything to do with any relationship for him. He's going to talk sh*t about them to me to make it seem like he doesn't care, but hangs out with them regularly, so I think he does. He's going to talk sh*t about my friends either to make me feel bad or because he's jealous or because maybe he doesn't like them. He is never rude to them, though. He is (surprisingly) fun and charming when he is around my friends. And I have no idea at all why he brought me around his family so soon, but I'm not complaining. I love his family.
PTSD + relationships = who the hell ever knows
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- #11
My vet does the same thing about his "friends." He will only hang out with them if they ask to though, never him asking them to hang out.
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