Fight / Flight / Freeze

[soulofLC]

Steph667, very very interesting. I was sick as a child, hospitalized for three months at the age of 3 with bone marrow infection (in 1953). I wasn't expected to live. From what I can remember, and what I gather from my mother, I was completely immobilized--physically and emotionally. Seems I read that shutting down is good for survival, bad for aftermath and emotional recovery. If I read your article correctly, (it is late here, so I need to read it again) this is saying the opposite. Perhaps I just need to run crazy and wild like a stallion! I have just started to research this topic for better understanding. Thanks for the interesting post. I will read it again in the morning.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi,

I still freeze. I even freeze with my partner, who doesn't hurt me. He is usually very aware of me so he notices most of the time. But there are times when suddenly something sets me off and I don't want this any more and I just freeze and can't say anything.

Yes, it is just an inherent response to fight, flight or freeze, but if you have been abused before, it is very quick and easy to learn such a behaviour, and is most likely a learned response. This is also why kids who have been abused are most often re-victimized. They are easy prey, and somehow the predators know it. Why people who grow up with domestic violence often become abused or abuser. It's what you know, and what you don't know--how to protect yourself--can hurt you.

The first time I was hurt, I resisted. I fought as much as I could but I can't say I'd do anything differently now because of the situation I was in, it was the best way to respond. Fight, but quietly.

The 2nd time I couldn't tolerate resisting, couldn't stand being that helpless and overpowered again, anything was better than that. ANYTHING. It took nothing at all, I dissociated like I'd been doing it all my life. Just happened automatically.

So, it doesn't take much, especially if you have previously been abused (any type of child abuse, especially anything that violates physical boundaries).