Fight Or Flight-?!?!!

[Kb3]

(((((((rain)))))))

 

[tberri7]

I SOOOO get "those" days! Those episodes of terror, AGAIN. When I first displayed PTSD symptoms I was primarily flight or freeze, as I was when I was a child. Now that I've moved down the road for about 3+ yrs, I find that in my frustration my mind tends to gravitate to fight first, then flight, then freeze. Without control over it, many times I go back & forth through all responses. My mind gets stuck between the terror of my childhood & the terror of what has become the new norm of my adult PTSD persona. My poor husband has such a hard time keeping up.

At least we know that "fight" is the new "flight". When he can wrap his head around the fact that the trigger happens but the actual fight may not be about him, he can ease into my world of chaos & we are seeing more victories & connections. We've actually had some real gut laughter in the past many weeks. (Was that a smile I saw?)Integration is coming. I can explain what happens now, after the fact. I think this is real progress. Hello old life? Maybe this time? Goodbye PTSD/DID. I SO want you gone. ~T.