Hello all!
I've been following this forum off and on for a couple months now and it has brought me comfort when not much else has. Sometimes looking to friends for support seems to get me nowhere.
My story goes something like this:
I met my boyfriend who was a combat veteran about a year and a half ago. He had spent about 7 years in the army and had been out for just a few months before I met him. He was an open book when we met and let me know he was on a few different medications for depression and that he had also been diagnosed with PTSD. I had appreciated him being upfront and honest about everything and was not bothered by any of it. We only dated for a few months before we had to both move out of our town at which point we began a long distance relationship.
I would see little bits of the PTSD here and there ( temper/ some excessive drinking/ trust issues) all of it was mostly minor and we were able to work past it all. After one year of distance we decide to move to the same city. Found an apartment, quit our jobs, put down a deposit on the new place etc etc. long story short, about two weeks before the move was supposed to happen my boyfriend backed out of the move saying that he " couldn't do it" that he had " changed his mind" that I deserved so much and someone that would make me happy and he wasn't able to do that for me. We broke up which was devastating and around that time I found this website. After reading other people's posts I took the advice of giving him space and texting him here and there telling him I was here for him/ missed him/ was thinking of him etc. a couple weeks later he responded to me telling me he had made a mistake and wishes he had stuck to our original plan of moving together ( he still moved but I hadn't) I had been so relieved to hear him say all this and felt so much better about everything. We decided we would arrange a meeting in person to see what was going on between us.
I already had another little trip planned to visit some friends across the country so I made flight plans to see him once I got back from my trip. During my trip to visit my friends I had texted him hoping to start up a conversation but never got a response. Turns out it was a service issue and he never received the text, but in his head I had " disappeared" and he assumed I saw another guy on my trip and he no longer wanted to see me. It was like the original breakup all over again. Him telling me to " move on from him so that I could be happy" and that i deserved the world but he wasn't able to give it to me.
Seemingly pretty common PTSD responses. He went in to panic mode all over again and shut me out. I feel like with time he will come around again, but I don't want to get in to that push and pull dynamic if I can help it. He wants to get therapy, but so far the VA has only approved therapy for one time per month, so not very helpful at all. I know that a relationship is too much for him to handle right now, but of course I'm worried about him. He recently has told me it's hard for him to be close to people and he doesn't feel like he fits in. He also never seems to trust anybody, sorta seems to think people are out to get him. He's just overall been in a pretty bad place lately.
I'm not necessarily looking for advice, although I'm open to hearing people's thoughts. I just know there has to be other people out there with similar stories and it's always been nice for me to know other people are having similar experiences.
Thanks everybody
I've been following this forum off and on for a couple months now and it has brought me comfort when not much else has. Sometimes looking to friends for support seems to get me nowhere.
My story goes something like this:
I met my boyfriend who was a combat veteran about a year and a half ago. He had spent about 7 years in the army and had been out for just a few months before I met him. He was an open book when we met and let me know he was on a few different medications for depression and that he had also been diagnosed with PTSD. I had appreciated him being upfront and honest about everything and was not bothered by any of it. We only dated for a few months before we had to both move out of our town at which point we began a long distance relationship.
I would see little bits of the PTSD here and there ( temper/ some excessive drinking/ trust issues) all of it was mostly minor and we were able to work past it all. After one year of distance we decide to move to the same city. Found an apartment, quit our jobs, put down a deposit on the new place etc etc. long story short, about two weeks before the move was supposed to happen my boyfriend backed out of the move saying that he " couldn't do it" that he had " changed his mind" that I deserved so much and someone that would make me happy and he wasn't able to do that for me. We broke up which was devastating and around that time I found this website. After reading other people's posts I took the advice of giving him space and texting him here and there telling him I was here for him/ missed him/ was thinking of him etc. a couple weeks later he responded to me telling me he had made a mistake and wishes he had stuck to our original plan of moving together ( he still moved but I hadn't) I had been so relieved to hear him say all this and felt so much better about everything. We decided we would arrange a meeting in person to see what was going on between us.
I already had another little trip planned to visit some friends across the country so I made flight plans to see him once I got back from my trip. During my trip to visit my friends I had texted him hoping to start up a conversation but never got a response. Turns out it was a service issue and he never received the text, but in his head I had " disappeared" and he assumed I saw another guy on my trip and he no longer wanted to see me. It was like the original breakup all over again. Him telling me to " move on from him so that I could be happy" and that i deserved the world but he wasn't able to give it to me.
Seemingly pretty common PTSD responses. He went in to panic mode all over again and shut me out. I feel like with time he will come around again, but I don't want to get in to that push and pull dynamic if I can help it. He wants to get therapy, but so far the VA has only approved therapy for one time per month, so not very helpful at all. I know that a relationship is too much for him to handle right now, but of course I'm worried about him. He recently has told me it's hard for him to be close to people and he doesn't feel like he fits in. He also never seems to trust anybody, sorta seems to think people are out to get him. He's just overall been in a pretty bad place lately.
I'm not necessarily looking for advice, although I'm open to hearing people's thoughts. I just know there has to be other people out there with similar stories and it's always been nice for me to know other people are having similar experiences.
Thanks everybody
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