I started therapy 30 years ago and learned alot about ACoA issues, that I wasn't a wierdo and how to improve my self esteem. After a good start with that first counselor, I went through probably 6-7 poor to average community counselors who did little for me except make me feel like I was just another manila folder in their big case load.
I put my healing journey on hold for almost 20 years. There has been a lot of knowledge gained about PTSD over that time.
About 2 1/2 years ago, I started back with a private practice psychotherapist who has done more for me than all of those others combined. I went back due to some relationship issues but low and behold we peeled the onion and old trauma cob webs were still lurking.
I had severe social anxiety as a school child and while it improved over time it still was an issue. Through trauma counseling and pushing myself it is SO much better.
Dissociation was a big problem for me and we've spent the last two years working with that and my avoidant, numb behavior. That was a real speed bump for me and blocked progress. I lost my job several months ago and the dissociation has improved tremendously. The school years and work years were similar re. shutting down, social anxiety, etc.. Not the ideal solution but I will take it however it works.
Now I actually am starting to * feel * in therapy vs pushing stuff down and blocking the pain. The last few weeks, sadness is the big one. It seems as though my therapist is pushing me harder, encouraging me to face the fear of what is inside of me. Some of it has been inner child work, which I know is the core of my pain and fear. I've been wanting her to push me for a long time but the dissociation was a problem plus she didn't want to retraumatize me.
Anyway, I wanted to post some good news about progress. It's far from easy but we are worth the battle, money and time. I am thrilled to feel sadness as it's a cue that healing is happening. That undoubtedly would sound really wierd anywhere but here!
I would like to hear about the progress of others, as well. Thanks.
I put my healing journey on hold for almost 20 years. There has been a lot of knowledge gained about PTSD over that time.
About 2 1/2 years ago, I started back with a private practice psychotherapist who has done more for me than all of those others combined. I went back due to some relationship issues but low and behold we peeled the onion and old trauma cob webs were still lurking.
I had severe social anxiety as a school child and while it improved over time it still was an issue. Through trauma counseling and pushing myself it is SO much better.
Dissociation was a big problem for me and we've spent the last two years working with that and my avoidant, numb behavior. That was a real speed bump for me and blocked progress. I lost my job several months ago and the dissociation has improved tremendously. The school years and work years were similar re. shutting down, social anxiety, etc.. Not the ideal solution but I will take it however it works.
Now I actually am starting to * feel * in therapy vs pushing stuff down and blocking the pain. The last few weeks, sadness is the big one. It seems as though my therapist is pushing me harder, encouraging me to face the fear of what is inside of me. Some of it has been inner child work, which I know is the core of my pain and fear. I've been wanting her to push me for a long time but the dissociation was a problem plus she didn't want to retraumatize me.
Anyway, I wanted to post some good news about progress. It's far from easy but we are worth the battle, money and time. I am thrilled to feel sadness as it's a cue that healing is happening. That undoubtedly would sound really wierd anywhere but here!
I would like to hear about the progress of others, as well. Thanks.
