Finding Like Sufferers - A Disturbing Trend

[batgirl]

Tiana and nurse1, welcome to the forum! I hope you both get as much out of it as I have.

I can't help but feel that way. I have this need to know if anyone else has survived an ordeal like mine.

Actually Tiana I do understand how you feel, my own trauma is a rather uncommon one, my father murdered my family one night, and tried to murder me as well before turning the gun on himself. I was the only survivor. Sounds like an episode of CSI. In real life it's difficult to meet another person with a similar experience. There are other family shootings, but usually there are no survivors. I do sometimes wonder about other people with a similar experience, and if they feel the same as I do.

To this day I feel everything I say is subject to scrutinization. I don't feel credible, no matter how truthful I am.

Yes I think this is one of the main reasons people want to find like sufferers, they want to be validated. Also, for me anyways, there is a constant urge to compare myself with others. I want to see how I measure up. But both of these thinking patterns are incorrect. You don't need validation of this kind, your trauma is yours alone and even if someone shared a very similar experience it would not be the same as yours, as we are all different people. By the same token, comparing yourself to other people is also wrong. We are all individuals, we react and heal at different paces. That's why it's so important to look at the symptoms and the illness itself, rather than how we got the illness.

Think about it this way... if this was a support group for cancer survivors, we wouldn't be dwelling on how we got cancer, but rather on how we survived, the treatments we were receiving, the pain and other symptoms we were experiencing, etc. Think of your PTSD in the same way. I know it's difficult though, I struggle with it myself still, all the time.

So maybe you need some sence of someone getting here in a simalar manner. I really did. Even if symptom are the same it made a life changing difference for me to read Candys intro.

Well nurse, initially it was good for you to read of another's similar experience, because it helped you to realize that you had PTSD too, just like a military person. However, now that you know people who are raped can also have PTSD, do you still feel the need to identify only with people who have been raped? I think you answered that for yourself when you said you relate to everyone here in a strange way. You just needed more information on PTSD I think, and its different causes.

Anyways, just my thoughts, a little convoluted as I'm coming out of a difficult period myself right now. Take care, both of you.

 

[Tiana]

Tiana and nurse1, welcome to the forum! I hope you both get as much out of it as I have.

Yes I think this is one of the main reasons people want to find like sufferers, they want to be validated. Also, for me anyways, there is a constant urge to compare myself with others. I want to see how I measure up. But both of these thinking patterns are incorrect. You don't need validation of this kind, your trauma is yours alone and even if someone shared a very similar experience it would not be the same as yours, as we are all different people. By the same token, comparing yourself to other people is also wrong. We are all individuals, we react and heal at different paces. That's why it's so important to look at the symptoms and the illness itself, rather than how we got the illness.

Think about it this way... if this was a support group for cancer survivors, we wouldn't be dwelling on how we got cancer, but rather on how we survived, the treatments we were receiving, the pain and other symptoms we were experiencing, etc. Think of your PTSD in the same way. I know it's difficult though, I struggle with it myself still, all the time.

Anyways, just my thoughts, a little convoluted as I'm coming out of a difficult period myself right now. Take care, both of you.

Everything you said here makes perfect logical sense. I find myself coming on the forum again and again to posts I've made, just to read posts from people who have words of wisdom over and over. It really helps to get through bad times (basically when I wake to when I get some sleep), and it really helps knowing others are getting better perspective on this. It's going to take some work on my part to get over the event part and focus on the symtoms. I'm hoping EMDR therapy will help with that as well.

Thanks so much, batgirl! And nurse1 as well :hello:

 

[nurse1]

Yes batgirl. I hope I made myself clear in trying to say I thought that most PTSD was caused by rape of serving at war time. Until this Forum

Was good to know that I was not the only one screwed from childhood.

No two people have had the same trama. That kinda crazy ha?

But let me clear something up and say that I can relate to everyone here about symptoms. And I am learning from everyone. No matter what they went threw.

It is not about what I went threw for me but about getting better.

Thanks for the Welcome everyone

 

[dljwhitewolf]

Well back when I was 27 I wanted to meet someone who went through worst then I did. I wanted to not be on the top of the list of life's crap list, I met a girl and thought good, see now I know I'm not the worst one, she is, and felt better, til I realized, no I'm still at the top. But it was the hope that someone else got in my boat that I could pal around with.
Now at 44, and having dealt with myself more, I still haven't met, and would pitty anyone who went through my life, but accept more of myself, and that's all I need to do.
Don't know how many times I passed the pearly gates, but they obviously don't want me there yet.
Practical jokers they are.
Anyway I know my spot up there is reserved, so this is just cake walking now, accept for dealing with the past, don't ya just love someone saying "Forget your past, move on." errrrrrrr
Or God only gives you what you can handle, well I can't always handle it, endure, I do, handle sometimes not.
They are just pat answers to someone who does not understand, bless the ignorant, aren't they cute.
I was so blessed to have Sarge, (Harold Schaffer, God rest his soul) a veitnam veteran who became my mental mentor and never was too busy to help show me paths I couldn't see.
So since I could never thank him enough, I pass on the golden nuggets he showed me to others, to help diminish mental suffering.
There is a measuring stick, but it should be used individually only. To help gauge recovery, not determine who has deeper scars.
I hold my scars like badges, in the end I won, (even though this is not the case day to day) I walked away, scathed but not spiritually broken, just a mental mess. I am broken and love myself that way, just fine.
God bless all,
White Wolf aka Donna-Lynne

 

[Tiana]

Well back when I was 27 I wanted to meet someone who went through worst then I did. I wanted to not be on the top of the list of life's crap list, I met a girl and thought good, see now I know I'm not the worst one, she is, and felt better, til I realized, no I'm still at the top. But it was the hope that someone else got in my boat that I could pal around with...

I just have to say thank you. I don't think I can articulate why, but thank you for being here.