Finding Outside Support

[Inspired 2 B Free]

What experiences have others had in trying to find supportive people/friends?

My experience has been that there are so many limited people willing to understand or even believe what we are going through is real. It seems to be too much for them to handle.

I have recently made some friends that I'm testing the waters to see how deep they can go.

It's very lonely being so traumatized and not being able to be real.

Public notion is if you haven't been in a war zone or kidnapped and raped by a cult then we shouldn't be suffering so much. That really adds to my lonliness.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear I2BF, how I understand what you mean. (And how it feels).

I can only say, (before), I had no idea that it was PTSD complicating my life.
I ended up going through some horrendous circumstances- there had been many but for some reason (well, beyond the obvious), they were completely devastating, bamboozling, I was at the end.

Ultimately, after many years, I got led down this path as it were. Ultimately, I have told only one person (other than here), and that is only recently.
I have heard such horrific sort of responses, ignorance but also almost a hateful rejection of the existence of ptsd, that I am terrified to say anything, I just couldn't handle that (reaction).

So for me, I would have to say anyone that I told, would have to be incredibly gentle-hearted, honest, somewhere or somehow have the capacity to understand.

However, there has to be hope, because here is me without resources or a 'voice', and yet all of this has transpired.

I think that I am learning, that for myself, yes, to acknowledge the ptsd is to be 'real'.
And also that denial has a big part. Because I so push it to the back of my mind it's not there at all. And unfortunately, that's just not accurate. No more than someone with Diabetes ignoring when their blood sugar is at 23.
For me, I am coming to realize it's more about remembering good things than forgetting the bad.

Not sure if that makes sense?

But I love your posts, btw, and your User Name. :tup:
(((((((Hugs))))))

 

[Tinyflame]

I should have said, because of (above), even to tell someone, I am 'learning' that that means not just 'saying it' (the usual, a weather report and then forgetting it, them and me), but to be able or 'allowed' to recognize and acknowledge when or how it comes into play. It is so foreign. It's kind of hard to believe/ grasp.

I too feel like I 'shouldn't' have ptsd, that what's occurred is simply not bad enough.
(((((More Hugs))))

 

[Inspired 2 B Free]

I guess it's a knee jerk reaction to tell someone 'oh other people have had it worse' or something like it. It's a real door slammer...obviously they don't even know the whole story and they've already made judgements. I'm amazed at how many subscribers there are on this site...wish it was doable to have a huge support group and everyone accept each other in person.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I do not talk about my ptsd to people anymore . I can talk to my family about it. But I have learned to keep my mouth shut, it is no ones buisiness anymore. I used to think if I talked about it, I would educate people and they would understand me better and then everything would be ok. But I got hurt so bad for doing this. Most people are not interested in hearing about it.

I just keep things light and positive with people. I come here for understanding and support. It has helped me so much. I do not want to make friends with people anymore. I have my family and I have my sponser who is very positive.

It is about boundries and having them too. I am wary of people who gossip, I was hurt very bad by this. I have gotten over it, but I do not forget it happened to me. I guess I do not trust people I do not know anymore. I wish you the best.Good luck.

 

[Inspired 2 B Free]

What you said makes sense...it's just so lonely. I can't talk with my family of origin about it.

My husband tries to understand, and he's accepting but if you don't suffer from it you just can't get it fully. My kids were so hurt by my outbursts when I got triggered they aren't interested in talking about it.

I do keep things light and superficial, too. Then I feel fake. But, you are right about those who gossip -it's painful to get pulled into that vacuum of people.

Thank you for your comments -I am truly amazed at the sincerity of people on this site.

 

[inverness]

My husband is all I have. The last friend I had just judged me and told me I was overwhelming her. I don't have family and even his family judges me for what I've been through. So I've lost everyone except him.

Four therapists have told me I'm either "out of their scope" or my stories are "perverse in a cartoonish way" or my stories are weird or don't seem real.

I feel so lost and alone. With people I have to interact with- at work or at stores or neighbors- I pretend I'm normal.

I am so tired of wearing a social mask because other people feel uncomfortable with MY reality. It angers me, it makes me feel worthless, and hopeless.

 

[Inspired 2 B Free]

aaaahhh..........the mask. I hate the mask, but it's right there with my car keys and I put it on dutifully every day when I leave the house.

I know other 'normal' people are wearing masks, too. It's so complicated and frustrating.