Finding The Off Button

[Jimmy1]

Don't you just hate it when the war in your head starts getting out of control. So because you feel uncomfortable with yourself you decide that everyone in your house needs to feel uncomfortable too so you go looking for a fight.

My ex used to say that I would not stop till I had all the kids crying whether they had done anything or not.

I am actually getting to the stage where I know now that I am heading in the wrong direction, I just can't quite hit that off button.

I think I am going to get a T-Shirt made up, maybe one of those Mr Men T-Shirts, except mine will be 'Mr Get The f*ck Out Of My Way'. Or 'Mr Don't Even f*cking Speak To Me'.

 

[Zipperhead]

Bad day Jimmy? Fuc# em if they can't take a joke. What's up? Still rockin from you friend? When's the repatriation?

 

[Sarg]

I've got a "Dysfunctional Veteran, leave me the hell alone" button, Jimmy. Want to borrow it? Very fortunately for me, I've got my off button. It's that horrible, disgusting, highly addictive, totally and completely frowned upon by the entire psychiatric community...Benzodiazipines!!!!! Works for me. Has always worked for me. Spent 30 years telling the American VA that it works for me. But nooooo. We have to do the SSRI thingy. Tried every one, none worked. Lots of bad side effects but no workey! And it turns out they cause something called Tartive Dysphoria, or...permanant depression! Oh, goodie! Then it was the Risperidone thing. I took one look at the side effects, heart attack, stroke and diabetes. Tried to fight it but got it rammed down my throat anyway.

Just saw a thing that the American VA spent $797 Million dollars on research on it and it test out no better than the placebo. 797 Million would go along way for Vet Centers, one on one's, ect.

I am so fortunate to go the private route, I know that. I wish we could all have that choice.

Am I worried about becoming addicted? Nope, I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. I used to be a very hard core alcoholic. I've beaten the crap out of this sixty three yr old body. I won't live long enough to go into withdrawal.

Until I do croak, I'm gonna be thanking my private Dr. every day for bringing back a tiny shred of serenity into my life.

Sarg

 

[Jimmy1]

Mate I have some Benzo's. Yes they are addictive, however, the biggest problem with them is the body building an immunity to them. They are great for when the anxiety hits, but I want the off button for those times where a normal conversations turns ugly.

 

[Sarg]

You're still a young man, Jimmy with a quick temper. When you get older, your temper will be slow to rise. Unfortunately, for some of us it rises higher because of it. I find myself being very careful when my temper is up and not let it go too far. As to the benzos, I'll take what they'll give me, when they tell me to take them and be happy for what I've got.

Sarg

 

[Jimmy1]

I went and f*cking did it again.

Yesterday I was making little cake things called chocolate crackles; however, I was using marshmallows. Anyway, I needed 300g. I asked Margaret to get the marshmallows and she did.
Anyway, yesterday I was doing some cooking, I had just made a quiche and was just about to make these chocolate things when one of the step daughters opened the packet and ate two marshmallows.
Well I went off the deep end. Really f*cking stupid.

I have apologised, I realise now that its only two marshmallows which probably only weighed about 10 g.

But, do you think I could push that off button. nah.

 

[Zipperhead]

We often appologise, and sometimes people forgive us. Why not try forgiving yourself for a change?

PS Choclate often makes the girls forgive. Good thing you were making it anyways.