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Firecrackers

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Mary

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Things have been going really, really well for a long time. Almost no symptoms except one day in weeks...months maybe?

Tonight there are firecrackers all over the neighborhood. I wasn't paying attention at all to them...engrossed in playing a computer game. Then I noticed I was jumpy, my adrenaline flying. My arms are starting to burn where I used to have nerve pain when I was in my permenant-on hyperaroused state.

I am vacating to the countryside tonight. Too bad, I had a lot to do this weekend. It's great that I can get away. Really great.

However, I am, as per usual, frustrated/sad/upset that I can't control this phenomenon and that something harmless is taking over my life.

I mean, they are firecrackers. I used to go see firecrackers. For fun.

Getting upset about it makes it worse, of course. I really am happy that I have an option for the night to get away from the trigger. Yay. Sigh.

Mary
 
Yeah, gotta watch out for those computer games sometimes. It's been shown that such activities can release high levels of dopamine into the brain and too much of that is shown to raise symptoms of stress including agressivness, paranoia, alertness. A lot of us get in a bad mood after playing games for too long, it really doesn't take long either in some of us, after an hour I can show symptoms. I get that drugged feeling after I have been playing games too long, it doesn't feel all that great. And it takes a long time to shake that cloud over myself, hours sometimes.

When you think about it you say there were fireworks and things going on outside and you were playing a computer game. If you can imagine all these things going on around you that tempt the body to be in motion yet you are just sitting, your brain is being filled up with a chemical that should otherwise be used up in the process of being active. Your mind is telling your body that you should be the one in the video game, moving around.
The result is being agitated to a point of discomfort. I think most people handle it, and disregard it but you and I are not most people, a lot of us feel stress and anxiety in very physical and mental ways.. something a lot of people just don't understand.

A fifteen min. break every half hour of screen time I think is the standard, although nobody actually does this.

When I tell my family that something will stress me out, they don't get what exactly I am talking about and what comes along with the stress.
 
It was definitely the firecrackers that was setting me off (loud noises do it). I do not play fps games anymore. I did when I was young (before I knew I had any issues) and just stopped one day when I realized how stressed I felt.

It is really the banging of the firecrackers that I am jumping to, but I reckon the computer is priming me to be in bad shape. I often feel icky after time on, but I spend so much of it on at work and at home.

This is interesting new information to consider. Thank you.

Mary
 
I understand how you feel - I hate firecrackers, too. I hate any loud noises. And it doesn't help that it freaks out my cats, too. My poor fiance is stuck being the only calm one in the house - thankfully, so far no fireworks in my neighborhood this year, but I'm sure I'll hear them tomorrow.
 
They are looking to lift the ban in MA on fireworks. I already contacted my Senator regarding this and pointed out that especially for combat-related PTSD sufferers as well as others, the fireworks and living on edge because of them is not fair to these people.
I wouldn't mind as mush if you knew the users would set tham off just on the holiday itself, but for some people they have to set them off for a few days before, and a day or two after so it becomes a week long thing. We have enough going off here with the ban in place. I can't imagine the hell it will be if they lift it.:(
 
This is my first 4th of July since all my symptoms. Throughout the week I have been hearing some 'pops' going off and they have been a little annoying. I'm going to a get together with my girlfriend tonight, I just hope I can handle it okay.
 
Night #2 Report:

Managed to stay home. This time I didn't spin out...just on edge. A deaf cousin suggested earplugs. Why didn't I think of that! Anyway, I didn't use them. I know there will be a few more nights of this...hanging in.

How is everyone else doing?
 
Not much sleep last night as myself and my two dogs couldn't sleep until it was over (midnight or later). We slept in this AM. I am expecting the same for the next two nights as our local fireworks display was rescheduled for Tuesday night.:( I would just like them done already!
 
Yea, I'm going to guess you live in America. Firecrackers are a hazard during the 4th of July weekend and few days after. However it's good that you are aware they are just firecrackers and you essentially have nothing to worry about. I don't live in a great area so I’m accustomed to mixture of both firecrackers and gunshot through 4th weekend. What I do to keep my anxiety down is: If I’m going out side, I only leave the house during the day. I also play a lot of music and watch movies. It's a good to keep your self busy; if you stay idle you'll become increasingly aware of the sounds. Take comfort in that you are indoors and if know one you know is setting off firecrackers. You are farther from the action then it makes sound.

Good luck, happy 4th!:)
 
It's finally winding down here. Had to take some anxiety meds. Didn't sleep well last night so was already pretty frazelled when they started. Also, had a really severe dust storm this afternoon - couldn't even see the neighbors trees! So the wind kind of had me whipped up and as soon as it died down the fireworks came out. So I just took a double dose of anxiety meds and gave myself permission to be a potato and drift in and out of sleep for the afternoon/evening.
 
I find that loud music in my ears works better than ear plugs. Otherwise, pretty anxious, trouble breathing, no appetite. Can't wait for 4th of July to be over.
 
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