First Holiday Alone...

[WesternSky]

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I always spend it with my family, and it's one of the few times I get to see my brother. Even after I moved to a new state, I made the trip back with my partner at Christmastime and then spent my birthday/New Year's with them (our families live in the same state). I know this may not seem very big to anyone, but my partner left this morning to go home to her family for at least two weeks, and it really hit home that this is my first holiday completely alone. Christmas is touted so much as a "family" holiday, whether it's your family from home, your love, or even a family of friends, and I don't know what to do with myself now. I assured my partner I would be fine, but I'm really struggling more than I thought I would be. Is there any way to ease the loneliness?

 

[ISupportHer]

I hear you WesternSky. Not anything I can do to change it for you but I hear you.

It may be of little help, but in a way, I think WE are family here. We are not physically present but we are emotionally present for one another. At my family Christmas meal the last few years, I have made a point to remember those members here that I count as friends. I literally go down a mental list as i give thanks. I will add you to my list this year. I know you will feel lonliness but you will be with my family in thought.

 

[WesternSky]

Thank you. It's always nice to know someone is thinking positive thoughts for me!

It was so hard to hear all the well-wishes for Christmas at work today, especially when I know they're all going home to their families later. I miss my family terribly. I know the mood on the board can be one of trying to change things rather than feeling sorry, so here's how I'm getting through Christmas Eve so far. I played with my dog, put on flannels, plugged in the tree and ordered pizza. It's almost cozy in here now. It still doesn't feel like Christmas, and tomorrow will be harder, but I'm getting through today first.

 

[Britt.f7]

WesternSky, I'm sorry you have to be alone this year. There are going to be quite a few people on here during Christmas. Maybe tomorrow, you can make a great breakfast for you and your dog. Take another walk, call and wish other's a happy holiday. Visit some establishments and wish the people that are working a happy holiday. That should all bring some cheer to you and lessen some of your loneliness. It often helped me by getting out and about.

I wish you a happy holiday!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If you can plan some fun things for you to do. Prepare a feast. Get in cozy clothes. Get your good movies to watch. Call anyone you can think of to call. Do you have a pet or a stuffed animal. Mabe you could read a book. Get yourself some food treats. Take a nap. Make it as cozy a day for you as possible. I will be thinking of you.

When I get home I will go online. Surely there will be people here online tommorow. You will be in my thoughts. Hugs.

 

[GreenFrog2]

Hi Western sky - I too hear you, although this is my second Christmas all alone, and in a way it is easier that last year - well that's what I am telling myself anyway!

I have found that it is matter of just enduring the day, and I think that most of us on here know how to do that. If you can find some simple things to help you do that like playing with your dog then do these things. Can you call your partner and family and speak to them for awhile? I am sure that would help.

I have sent some private messages of support to people on here who's posts I have liked a lot recently, and who are in the same country as me, this as helped me to feel a little like I belong somewhere - hope they reply!

Above all be kind to yourself, and stay safe. :hug: GF2.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi, I am just checking in to see how you are holding up. I have thought of you today and wondered how you were doing. Please keep us updated on your progress ok? Hugs.

 

[Sailorgal]

Hey Western Sky,

Loads of us in the same place albeit I'm ALWAYS alone on every holiday and birthday. It's just my life and I have accepted it. I don't know any differently so there are no special days for me. I can't say I understand struggling with being alone. But being on the "lonely" side of the fence, you will be OK - really.

As Gizmo said, do things for yourself that you enjoy. Think of it like any other day. Not trying to downplay you feeling lonely. Hope you can turn it into a positive for yourself!

 

[KatB]

This is my FIRST holiday isolated from my family. Alone from them.

I've always loved the holidays: great time for catching up, eating around the dinner table and outside the kitchen, etc. I saw someone said here that Christmas is based on familial gatherings or so much emphasis is put on the family. I agree with you, whoever said this. Christmas, holidays, are not gonna be the same ever again from now on. I fear, more dread the new year with anticipation just because I know the fight for my life is just beginning.

 

[WesternSky]

Hi guys,

I made it through Christmas! I talked to my family and partner on the phone, and everyone liked the gifts I sent them, so that made me feel good that I did well by them. I played with my dog and spent most of the day on the chat and watching TV. I drew Christmas dragons for people in chat that seemed lonely too and it helped uplift me when I made others smile.

I did pretty well until dinnertime when I procrastinated going out to get food until the last minute. Driving around town seeing the beautiful lights and people coming from the movies together or lit-up homes with families inside made me terribly lonesome again, and when I finally found a place to eat, I felt I was just bothering the workers and wished I hadn't disturbed them from their gathering just for food (it was near-ish closing and they were gathered around a table with a potluck in front of themselves. When I came in, the cashier and cook got up and helped me. At least they knew me from being there so many times, but I still felt terrible.)
My partner was going to call me again, so I stayed up waiting, but she fell asleep (it happens to the best of us, but it's still lonely to be waiting for something that doesn't come.)

You were very kind to think of me.

 

[safenow]

KatB, I'm sorry you were alone for the first time. That's the hardest I believe. I rather like being alone on the holiday season. But I have a lot of mixed reasons for that.

You can make your new year the best you can by taking care of you. Make time for you. Be good to you. Bless your heart. If I may, I send you a safe gentle hug.

WesternSky, I'm glad you made it through. I'm glad you had a place where people knew you. That helped, I'm sure.

safenow.

 

[ISupportHer]

The day is over now. Yes you got through because you had to. I kept my promise yesterday, by the way. :)