First Therapy Appointment

[Deleted member 28942]

@mrsps the list is a great idea. I did something similar. I wrote a list of things that she is not allowed to say to me. She was grateful that I told her those things.

 

[ButterflyBean]

@UniversalBeing, would you mind sharing what some of those things were? Certain words/phrases trigger me too, especially "it's going to be okay" or anything similar.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@HollyBeans27, I told her that she is not allowed to make me forgive my parents. If and when I forgive it is up to me. I told her that phrases like:
"It is going to be OK", "You are not a victim now", "You are an adult not a little child", "It wasn't your fault", and similar don't help me. I told her I know this to be true but I don't feel it and it doesn't help me. I also told her that telling me how successful, accomplished, interesting, lovable, educated, well traveled, well read I am doesn't help.

I told her I want to work on identifying and feeling my feelings and needs; I want to work on my trauma and resolve it; I want to work on setting boundaries, and finding spirituality but not through going to church or similar stuff.

For me, it is important that the therapists has specialized in trauma and that he or she uses some form of experiential or somatic approach, perhaps even EMDR. Just talking doesn't help.

 

[Pinkplatypus]

Thanks all for the reply! @mrsps yea ): It is reallly really really long, considering it's been 4 months since I've decided to get help ): But it's alright, im managing. @UniversalBeing hmmm a list? that really sounds like a good idea. and the part about asking me to forgive my parents/empathise with them. I almost killed the last "counsellor" who told me to do that

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@Pinkplatypus I share your anger with my previous therapists. Here is a good article by Alice Miller on requiring "Forgiveness" by the client. She is against it:
http://www.alice-miller.com/articles_en.php?nid=48