Flashback/memory Recovery Making Me Sad

[lonelyone82]

I haven't posted on here in a while. I have been getting in shape doing yoga 6x a week and therapy 2× a week. A few days ago I recovered a memory I had stored in my mind and it involved a hospital experience. I got really traumatized and my nervous system shut down because it was so overwhelmed. I remember the nurse asking me if I can walk and then I fell down. Everything turned black and the nurse aid asked the nurse "is she dying?". Then the nurse said "No her nervous system is shutting down I have seen this happen before to someone that got shot." I remember them moving me into a hospital bed and another nurse laughing because she though I was drunk. The good nurse told her I'm not drunk I'm sick. It is really bad I keep distracting myself but I forgot that happened to me. I feel more compassion towards myself and also concern. Trauma is no laughing matter. I explained to my sister this happened and it helped. I told her I must have blacked it out because it was so scary to feel utterly helpless. I'm just glad there was a good nurse there that understood what was happening to me. I am sad. There is a point the brain and nervous system shuts down due to trauma overload. I hope I can work through this. I think it is good to release trauma that is trapped inside.

 

[BlueOrange]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things, and handling this recovered memory well. I wish it was easier, less tiring and less painful!

It sounds like you are working through it, although I understand that it's easier for me to feel confident than it is for you.

 

[lonelyone82]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things, and handling this recovered memory well. I wish it...

Thanks. I think it's going okay. I am readjusting to it and am using distractions. Last night I was praying and it seemed to lighten. It's not replaying at a constant, and I am adjusting to it. In the past I had floods of recovered memories and flashbacks that were worse and ended up finding it impossible to cope and had to be put on medication temporarily. This one is okay. I think it's better to release these memories rather than have them stored up inside. I'm just glad it's surfacing at a stable time so it is safe.