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Flashbacks And I Can't Stop Them-help?

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it's so embarrassing at school when people don't know why I am so terrified in the science labs :(
It's ok to feel fear. I was completely dissacotiated when I did my final year graduation speech in front of a panel of lecturers. My fear was of people. But I graduated with a degree. So it is amazing what you can do with PTSD. It helped that I had availble something silly to offset it. I brought a bowl of fantails lollies and thought of how I was bribing:roflmao: them with chocoaltes, but was going to eat them at the end of my speech. Then the lecturer said his wife loved fantails so they ate and took them all. Greedy Greedy lecturers eating all the chocolates I made available for them.
 
It's ok to feel fear. I was completely dissacotiated... m.
There is no way I would be able to do that because when I dissociate, I always
have flashbacks (and this happens most of the day). And I tend to curl up against a wall with my head in my hands and I have no idea whatsoever what is going on (except what is in the flashback). If someone speaks to me, sometimes I can't hear them, sometimes I can hear them but they seem really far away and sometimes I tell them to "make him stop". I do not believe them when they tell me I'm 18 (I am convinced I am the age that I was in the flashback I an having). They go on for 4-5 hours at a time sometimes. I guess my issues are just really severe. I haven't attended lectures all year because I have flashbacks most the day so would end up having them at uni and they're really obvious.
 
There is no way I would be able to do that because when I dissociate, I always
have flashbacks (and this happens most of the day).

If this was me, I would pursue trying to get to the bottom of the flashbacks through linking. For instance, I could never work, as the dissacotiation was too strong. So I have done therapy where the psychologist 'linked" things together.

Linking brings back the grief and emotions and memories from the subconscious for me that seem to be 'forgotton' at the tim of the trauma. The flashbacks are the first 1/4 second of these forgotton memories.

I have an example where linking has helped me. I had a flashback where I felt extreme dread getting on the bus. The psycologist found the 'link' and i got a memory back of my dad attacking my mum when she came home from shopping.When I did the linking, the fear of driving or being on the bus went away.

A therapist once told me I would never get better doing the 'linking'. But after 13 years of 'linking' I finally got enough dissacotiations out of the transient state where they are flashbacks into permanent memory form. The flashbacks reduced into such smaller volume, that I started working again. So I find it worthwhile, when nothing else works.
 
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