Flashbacks Becoming Dangerous?

[billie]

When our younger selfs pop up now and then we are told to listen to them and find out what they want. But my 15yr old self is a dangerous person and wants to self distruct. I feel like I have to sedate myself more to feel safer. I actually think I am loosing my mind. She has been around quite a bit this week due to extreme stress. I have told my T what is going on but I have not explained how dangerous she is. It feels I want to put myself in dangerous situations.

 

[Hope4future]

I completely understand. Listening to our younger parts with compassion is entirely different from doing what they say. This part is trying to help, but she doesn't have the skills to be safe. So hear her so you can learn from her, but be skeptical about her solutions.

Please tell your T how dangerous she feels so you can get support in staying safe.

Good work being able to identify what's going on. This work is so hard and so complicated. Hang in there.

 

[yoshixvx]

I am going to assume that you have fragmentation from the way you are phrasing things. I also suffer from this and my teenager is trapped in a flashback loop. Thinking back to that age, my mental illness(es) were exacerbated by hormonal fluctuations, and so it makes sense that there is a lot of residual and somatic symptoms when dealing with this aspect of myself.

I also know what it's like to feel out of control and scared shitless about what you might to do yourself or someone else as a result of this. The obsessing and the anxiety are a death sentence.

My best advice is to work with your T on listening to and communicating with this part of yourself. Find out where the pain is coming from and compassionately work towards a resolution. I have dealt with addictions/dissociation issues all of my life, and I know neither of those are the right coping mechanisms. Neither is pretending it doesn't affect things or that if you ignore it, it will go away. Unfortunately life doesn't work like that, but the ability to love and accept those parts of yourself as purposeful, necessary, and a reality, will make integration a hell of a lot easier on yourself.

 

[Flyaway]

It helps me when I talk to my younger self... I reassure her and let her know my adult self is there to protect her now. She needs to know that you're willing to fight for her. Keep on redirecting her anger (healthy expressions of anger) to the people who have hurt her so deeply, keep reassuring her that she doesn't deserve to be hurt or punished- the reason she feels so bad and wants to hurt herself is because she has been exposed to so much trauma.

I hope his helps! ...be honest with your therapist about your concerns - it will help to diffuse some of those intense emotions.

 

[billie]

Thanks your posts are great. I have my T in two days which us good. I definitely need assistance with dealing with this.