I like the room air freshener idea. The master bath was where I retreated when I had my flashbacks, and so it became associated with the emotional fallout. However, I did put a rather strong strawberry scented one in there, and I did notice that it "changed" the room, and sort of ran a new program in there. When I entered, it helped to clense the room of previous associations. So I do agree with that idea. The brain is able to use simple things like the senses to overcome a rut.
Change, don't get stuck. But take some time to go over and listen to your wounded child. After you listen to her, give her love. Show her you are now a powerful and loving adult, not like your Dad, but a completey wonderful, different person who will now take care of her, so that she doesn't have to keep reliving her past pain, but can now be able to rest in the assurance of now being loved and loving, only allowing love in her life.
On a different note, I would ask you to look at your relationship with your husband. I doubt there are major issues, but there may be some things going on that need tweaking. For example, habits that were working before but which are not working for you now. In examining a relationship in the light of what is going on with you (the flashbacks and the amount of pain they are causing you) there is a need to see if the relationship is at all a trigger that can be worked on or worked out. I don't like the word "trigger" in this context at all, but I use it to make a point.
Please allow me to use my own experience again. I was not being honest with my H about my emotions. My whole life has, until recently, been an excercize in hiding, but I was so used to doing it, I never would have called it that. Emotions and the real me are things I hid, most of all from myself. The truth had to be hidden from myself for survival. Now, the memories, the real trauma, it's out there. The flashbacks are a way of bringing the truth to the surface. I agree that it will happen until you have "dealt" with the truth you are trying to show yourself. The origin of that truth is also known, and the way it must be worked out is mostly known. But if it's still happening, then you are still partially running from the truth rather than letting it be, letting the next step of the truth happen.
What needs to happen is for you to allow the truth to be freed. Your inner child is asking for something from you. What do you need to do to change? You must do what you know must be done in order to move on to the next stage of healing. My T calls it A, B, C, and D. A is the trauma being revisited, the flashbacks. B is deciding it is true and needs to be confronted with action, dealing with it, however that needs to happen (I call it confrontation). C is having confronted it all, and having outed it, you allow yourself to move through the grieving process that will ensue. D is when the process has gone through it's major cycle and life goes into a good, more healthy place than ever before. Setbacks can happen in life. D could lead to other cycles later.
I hope that I am helping here. It's not at all "easy" but it is like getting over a cold, you have to take your vitamin C and rest, and chicken soup or what have you. In the case of this kind of trauma, there is a confrontation with the facts and feelings of the trauma that must be owned and worked out, which is individual to each one person.
Change, don't get stuck. But take some time to go over and listen to your wounded child. After you listen to her, give her love. Show her you are now a powerful and loving adult, not like your Dad, but a completey wonderful, different person who will now take care of her, so that she doesn't have to keep reliving her past pain, but can now be able to rest in the assurance of now being loved and loving, only allowing love in her life.
On a different note, I would ask you to look at your relationship with your husband. I doubt there are major issues, but there may be some things going on that need tweaking. For example, habits that were working before but which are not working for you now. In examining a relationship in the light of what is going on with you (the flashbacks and the amount of pain they are causing you) there is a need to see if the relationship is at all a trigger that can be worked on or worked out. I don't like the word "trigger" in this context at all, but I use it to make a point.
Please allow me to use my own experience again. I was not being honest with my H about my emotions. My whole life has, until recently, been an excercize in hiding, but I was so used to doing it, I never would have called it that. Emotions and the real me are things I hid, most of all from myself. The truth had to be hidden from myself for survival. Now, the memories, the real trauma, it's out there. The flashbacks are a way of bringing the truth to the surface. I agree that it will happen until you have "dealt" with the truth you are trying to show yourself. The origin of that truth is also known, and the way it must be worked out is mostly known. But if it's still happening, then you are still partially running from the truth rather than letting it be, letting the next step of the truth happen.
What needs to happen is for you to allow the truth to be freed. Your inner child is asking for something from you. What do you need to do to change? You must do what you know must be done in order to move on to the next stage of healing. My T calls it A, B, C, and D. A is the trauma being revisited, the flashbacks. B is deciding it is true and needs to be confronted with action, dealing with it, however that needs to happen (I call it confrontation). C is having confronted it all, and having outed it, you allow yourself to move through the grieving process that will ensue. D is when the process has gone through it's major cycle and life goes into a good, more healthy place than ever before. Setbacks can happen in life. D could lead to other cycles later.
I hope that I am helping here. It's not at all "easy" but it is like getting over a cold, you have to take your vitamin C and rest, and chicken soup or what have you. In the case of this kind of trauma, there is a confrontation with the facts and feelings of the trauma that must be owned and worked out, which is individual to each one person.
