Flashbacks leading to avoidance... help?...

[Sea_lady]

Hi everyone... I am facing a problem that I have a hard time to resolve... There are things I must clear and tidy in my flat, but they are related to the past and trauma (i.e. papers, objects who belonged to me at a traumatic time of my life...) and they do trigger flashbacks.

That is so unbearable that I avoid doing the clearing tasks, and push them off... But I know that tomorrow, it will be the same... I want to do this housework thing. I want to put these items of the past away and order my present, change my flat's decoration to mean that I live in Now, in Here... Yet, I can't because when I approach objects that trigger flashbacks, I feel pain turning my guts upside down; my breath accelerates, I feel warmer, I panic... Then, I feel worthless because I couldn't do what I meant to - even simple chores!... I feel weak, incapable and powerless...

Any idea how I can block flashback intrusions?... I;d like to clear things in my home without feeling any pain...

 

[Chris-duck]

I know it's not an ideal long term fix but is there anybody you trust to come help you sort it out? I don't know if you'd rather find a way to stop it bothering you, for that I'm not sure there's any quick solution to be honest.

 

[Sea_lady]

@Chris-duck Thank you very much for answering...

No, I am alone...

I've tried all the long term solutions already (months of EMDR, CBT, topped up with additional months of experimental treatments like the Lifespan Integration... I take medicines against anxiety for nearly 5 years...) but my mind and body are still overwhelmed by C-PTSD...

I decided to rest today and tomorrow. Friday, I'll try again... :(

 

[Alli D87]

I have somewhat of the same problem... I avoid housework because it was so central with the abuse that I'm triggered whenever I need to do it. Needless to say my place is a mess because I avoid housework...

I have a case worker who suggested I try doing this work called Distress Tolerance... It's not easy and very triggering.. I've been avoiding that too... way too overwhelmed to even try.

 

[Deleted member 46909]

those trigger points are connected to your memories of abuse. They generate negative emotional feelings and sort of toxic beliefs. I experience similar issues in the past and I did broad expertise in this subject and one day I found out what to do.

ps. the only way to block those flashbacks is to address any small issue and acknowledge in your heart. it now it sounds complicated and confused but it works

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome, @Iga Wiśniewska - I saw in chat that you mentioned being a teacher of a trauma recovery method. I wanted to make sure you’re aware that our rules prohibit any kind of self-promotion. But, you are welcome to post about your experiences and how you handle trauma, so long as you do not recruit clients.

You can read all of our guidelines in the Community Constitution :)

 

[Deleted member 27340]

I've been putting off going through and cleaning out three boxes of stuff from when I lived with my mother as a kid for 4 years. I went through one of them not too long ago. I found an object that was massicely triggering. It's difficult. I'm waiting with the other boxes until I'm more stable.

I got started by using the desire to get them cleaned out as fuel for my stubbornness, and found making a gradual approach much easier. Like, now I know roughly where in each box there are heavily triggering things, so I know that next time, I'll start with the other parts. I'll do the easy parts slowly, take a break, pick up some things that are a bit more triggering, take a break, etc... That's what I did for the first box as well. The breaks have got to include relaxation. For me, that's going out for a smoke and a coffee while chatting with someone or solving puzzle games on my phone. If you want a "quick fix" I don't think there's much else to do than go slowly, take many breaks, start with the easy stuff, and have a plan for how to relax yourself before you start, and a plan B for what to do if you need to stop completely and abruptly, like going out for a walk to somewhere you enjoy being or whatever can calm you down.

Are there any parts of your place that don't have much triggering stuff that you could start with and make tidy and 'here and now' first, so you have a safe place you can go to when you need a break? You could even build a blanket hut and fill it with nice stuff and cookies and use that as a retreat when you need a break. If you like blanket huts, that is. (I'm totally not promoting blanket huts, here :p)

 

[Past present future]

A few months ago, I went to go help clean out my childhood home because my parents were relocating. I opened my old bathroom drawer and found the metal belt that I was wearing the night that I was raped in college. Who knew that an object could hold so much power. I swear it took a team of support people to empower me to throw it away. My therapist was in email encouraging me to have my husband help me, as was my friend via text. I had a few other people in a group chat also on board. It took me a couple of days. At first, I would just open the drawer and stare at it, then slam the drawer shut and run out of the room. Finally I decided to grab the tray that it sat in and throw everything (including the tray) away. All of this was very empowering and celebratory at the same time. It felt good to read that my therapist was proud of me. And my friends as well. It was something that I needed to do on my own and I did it! I believe that you will find a way. You may have to do it fast... like ripping off a bandaid. It may take a few days, but I believe in you! I believe that the strength will come when you are ready!