Flashbacks - What Happens To You? Coping Methods

[caffersEH]

I get the adrenaline rush, cant keep still and feel 'rushed' - I will often pace or wring my hands or kinda claw at my chest. I get the pounding heart and dizzy feeling, detached, spaced out. I feel really nauseated and shaky.

Then I feel overwhelmingly sad, sad about what happened, sad about the fact its left me with this damage, and worried I might never get over it.

Then I feel paranoid that people are going to think I am either faking it, or that I am nuts. Then I go back to feeling sad and I let myself just cry for my loss.

I am so lucky I have loving family and partner and friends, they are all there for me, and make me feel better, but none of them really understand, so while I value their support so much, I also feel a little isolated from them due to this thing that happens in my brain.

 

[CourageofSnow]

My hands start to shake, usually the first sign that something is happening.. My heart starts pounding and noise around me intensifies. I try to breathe or hold onto something hard to ground me, but I still shake. I make myself go to a quiet room.

Sometimes I will see things, a face, or feel breath on my neck, but often I am overcome with feelings of sheer panic. I shake and start to moan, often telling people noo... I feel on edge, and wide eyed, terrified.

When I come to I am confused and the stress of the experience causes my speech to slur and I have a stutter. Most of the time I cry. I will have a glass of water and concentrate on taking deep breaths. I talk to others until my speech returns to normal.

I feel like I am going mad, and I don't know when the next one will happen, but I have an expectation now that this is part of a healing journey. I look at them as contractions.. Painful and intense but will provide great relief when over!!

I feel incredibly supported as I have a wonderful workplace (they have strategies in place for when I have a flashback) My family and friends know and it makes a big difference knowing that they love me regardless.

Having said that I often feel frustrated and alone as they don't know what I am going through ( I internalise alot and try to make light of things).. and I get annoyed when people say "oh well at least you're coping" AAAGH! Some days I don't feel brave or that I am coping, I feel that I am living from moment to moment never sure when the next episode will occur.