Poll Flower, Circle, Spiral?

[Red Feather]

Okay, so this is my question. I always liked to say that we are always getting better, like a flower that reaches into the sky. I would like to be able think about life this way.

But I often tend to see myself turning in circles. Repeatedly falling into the same self-destructive behaviour and thinking, and losing sight of finding a way out. Especially when it comes to trauma and programmed brain patterns.

A friend once said to me, it is not a circle we seem to be turning on, over and over again, but it is a spiral that is always getting better, although sometimes it feels like it is getting worst, we are actually growing and moving towards something better.

Which do you think it is? I know that PTSD can never be healed, but it can be managed, right ? If you agree with the spiral idea, how can we know that things are getting better? Why? What does exposure therapy have to do with this process?

I am just asking because of my recent ordeal of having to write my entire case history for my new T before my therapy even started. I was having a hard time dealing with the emotional aftermath of doing that. And so I am wondering, now that I have exposed so much, am I healed? I don't feel like I am, but it would be nice to know that there is an improvement....

 

[Ice_Fire]

I like the spiral idea, I think that fits the most. Each time we go around the circle, it's damned hard work but slowly,we're climbing higher.

Nadia, if you were simply going around in circles, getting nowhere, you would not have moved to Berlin, you wouldn't be connecting to people, you would not be healing at all! But you are doing so much, so yeah, going around emotionally, feeling cr*p when processing all this, but still moving in a positive direction.

If you look at that last picture and look to your past as the bottom of those stairs, I hope you can see how much 'taller' and stronger you are now.

Healed? No, probably not. Just writing it out like that is a huge step forward but I doubt it's a magic cure...we'd have all done it otherwise! :p But you're getting there, one step at a time.

 

[goingonhope]

Hi Nadia.

I answered spiral as it relates to my Ptsd.

On the other hand I'd answer flower as it relates to personal growth within and in the several aspects of life.

And, while considering auto-immune illness which I have and other illness, ...even the secondary illness resulting therefrom, I'd answer circle.

However I'd imagine quite the creative circle with the initial line first forming the circle continuing around with progression and darkening/widening its color and width, yet still open and flexible for divine grace and miracles which would hopefully reverse direction on that pencil, and then continue counter-clockwise swiftly turning the pencil's lead into an eraser. :),

......and :laugh: (lol)

 

[Red Feather]

Yeah, I think making a decision for one or the other means something. Like if you make the decision for the flower then it means you would like to grow up without any hindrances. But since the spiral is more realistic, it helps the understanding that when things get worse, they are only getting better.

A circle could be a neverending pattern, which would mean that you are set on never getting better, unless of course you build in that counter-clockwise eraser. That's just a cool maneuver. Lol.:D

 

[Ajf7849d]

That metaphor of a spiral staircase is so perfect. It's so true. It's the same circle, for the most part, maybe the height of the steps differ a bit. But it definitely feels the same. But we're climbing! We're going somewhere. Sometimes we stop to take a rest, sometimes we tumble down a couple steps. But then we get up, close our eyes, and sprint for a little bit. And then we rest, perhaps a little longer than we should, and it's back to a steady pace again.

Good stuff.

 

[anthony]

Ahhh... good old mental imagery.

I chose the obvious, being a spiral, as it allows one to move forward (up), yet recognise they may sometimes move backward (down).

The flower blooms then dies, the circle goes round and round without any chance of getting off.

 

[Red Feather]

I didn't think of the fact that flowers die. True but sad.

I think the movement on the spiral is always going up, just sometimes there is more light and sometimes it is dark. So sometimes it is hard to tell if things are getting better.

 

[maddog]

Yeah, and with a spiral, you sometimes find yourself repeatedly back in the same position, looking at the same scenery, but from a different angle which allows you to notice new details, and adopt alternate viewpoints, and look down on where you've been before...

 

[NarcSis]

My PTSD was explained to me in terms of the spiral, although it feels circular, with each day I am putting more distance between myself and the trauma.

As I improve and learn to cope, the distance between trigger events gets larger.

I like to see it as a spiral away from the trauma, constantly improving, it actually helps to cope when I hit the rough spots.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I said spiral, but usually it's a downward spiral. Me thinks I need to flip my spiral upside down lol.

 

[JustBe]

A spiral is a very good way to think of it for me. Even on bad days I can scrabble my way back up a few inches.

 

[Estacia]

This as a tough question for me to anwser being that in my case each hour of the day my PTSD can be any one of the three.