Childhood For Those Who Experienced Neglect And Abuse Growing Up: How Hard Was The Transition To Adulthood?

[lostforgottensoul]

how do you know you're in a cult?

I didn't call it a cult til I entered my current therapists but it was a made up religon with made up beliefs with a made up bilble and rituals and punishments that I was still doing into adulthood. Thats a cult.

 

[acoa82]

I am 35 but I still feel lost. I started to change something in my life but I am not sure if that is enough. I still don't know what to do in my life. I am confuse. I'm mostly lonely. I feel everywhere like a stranger, with my relatives, at work, on the street, with neighbors, even in here. I feel here like I don't belong here. I have symptoms of acoa, and cptsd, in ace score test I scored 7. I feel weak and tense most of time, always looking for potential danger, crushed by hypervigilance. I feel like nobody understand me and I can not understand them. It is like two parallel worlds existing next to each other. As if we were looking at ourselves through the glass or what. I stopped communicating with my relatives. I alienate myself from people. Feeling on edge, numbness, and so on....
Despite everything I still have the strength to continue. I can still laugh. I do not know where it comes from.

I became addicted to fear. It is adrenaline addiction because I had almost always to watch my back 24 hours a day, night, or suffer the consequences. And now I don't know what to do with my time.

 

[scout86]

It actually DOES sound like you belong here. (I'm not sure that's good news.) Welcome to the forum. I hope you get to feeling more at home as time goes on.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I was thrown out of the home, two weeks before I graduated high school and went to live with a friend that was married and had a daughter from a young age. I was prepared to be the perfect victim, no boundaries, no sense of self so many other hurdles that i did not even know about. I got married and had two kids. I started therapy when I was thirty. It has been a process and I have been slowly growing up ever since. I just keep on seeking what the truth is and keep going forward. I was not prepared or taught anything at all. Not equipped to live as a adult and still have a hard time regulating my emotions and so many other things. I accept that I did not have parents that loved me and am now starting the task of reparenting myself in the beginning stages of that. Been in denial for a lot of my life. Still trying to figure things out and still have a lot of anxiety and fear.

 

[XXbabydollXX]

I'm getting ready to be 18 soon. My sermon donor muse u ally abused me as a child I now have no contact with shit bag. I'm going to go to get a associates degree in what I love rather than be a doctor like he wanted. My life is mine to live,

 

[The Albatross]

At 17 if I you would have told you at 23-24 my father would have been supportive I'd have called ya a liar... however, he actually did pony up later in life and understood how he contributed to my difficulties. Even apologized... rare thing. At that point was it really enough? Naw... the ball was rolling from way way back but it helped. Some. Too soon I expect to see if/when/what is gonna be but good on you for following your own path in a profession that you love gal.

 

[XXbabydollXX]

What do you mean call me a liar df? In my earlier post I said sexually abuse. Auto correct did that to my post

 

[The Albatross]

I mean time can change things... in my case to a degree they did. He was repentant and lived the rest of his life that way til he died of cancer. But when I'd emancipated myself at 17... well he did all to threaten me and scare me. In retrospect it was kinda crazy cuz he was not making an offer to support me in any manner whatsoever... but all he had was threaten to which I gave him the big F you.

Even in retrospect, in my circumstance there was pretty much nothing that could have gone differently... so just use caution that you don't open yourself up to secondary traumatization. I wasn't prepared or mature enough and I sure did.

 

[DharmaGirl]

She's not calling you a liar, she's saying she would have called someone a liar when she was 17, if they told her her father would apologize. She wasn't calling you names.

 

[DharmaGirl]

My mom moved out of the house to live with her boyfriend, and told me I could split the mortgage with my violent, schizo-affective brother who beat me every day. As long as she was happy and could push of taking care of my brother on me.

 

[glasshalfempty]

i remember as a teenager being frustrated because there was nowhere to go and no way to get th...

Growing up can be scary especially when childhood has been traumatic. I hope that someone that is genuinely loving, kind, compassionate and understanding enters your life that you may know you are unique and valuable and worthy of love and respect and treated with honor.

 

[bento]

An abusive childhood is the sh**tty gift that keeps on giving. Besides leaving with PTSD
I had zero life skills. Mom did nothing but abuse, shop (for herself) , watch TV and gossip.
Zilch. Nada.
I was her
emotional punching bag and servant. And since every trivial "mistake" gave her cause
to abuse me further, I couldn't take pride in the constant work I performed. And since
neither of my parents had hobbies other than a fanatical style religion and TV viewing
I literally learned nothing but dysfunction. Whenever I spent time with normal folks
(which was very limited as I was always being punished or restricted on some way)
I felt like I was taking notes. How did they do it (behave normally) ????

I have weird phobias around things like paying bills (once I get going I even kind of
enjoy it) because of past traumatic memories, which with late fees, gets to be an
expensive phobia. I've been an inveterate people pleaser
so I've been terribly taken advantage of in both relationships and work situations.
You finally learn, but it'd be great to get some kind of manual explaining personality
disordered people and how they tick as well as teaching you basic life skills to get you started.
That would be amazing to know at the start of adulthood instead of having to be
hard won along the way. It took me decades to gather the necessary info that kids
from "normal" families have at 18. Decades. Sheesh!