Forgetful

[Sammyiam]

Hi all,

I have just spent the last 15 minutes trying to remember how to post a thread. I knew how to do it but just couldn't put all the ducks in a row to get it sorted, or in the right order then couldn't find how to post it. MMMM the big blue button with post new thread seems so easy ! Even now I'm thinking what does the actual words on that say again. Now I have sorted out how to post, I have forgotten what was so important that I wanted to write !

I find lots of things that I have done that I have no idea I have done it, I have said things that I don't remember saying. I forget what I'm meant to be doing, I go to town and mostly come home without most things I was meant to buy, the supermarket takes me like an hour or two, first I forget what I need so I write a list. When I remember the list I cannot find the things and what row they are in. Finally I find what I need, then I cannot decide which brand I should pick, what size or what what what whatever come across my silly mind that makes it so hard to choose. I walk up and down the towering rows of food, tins, bread, dairy products and I just seem to amble around in a mindless state of nothingness mmmm not even sure that's Word.


I get panic attacks and find it hard to breathe, if there are lots of people in doing their shopping. I feel everyone is watching me and thinking I'm a useless piece of rubbish. I really look up so I bang into everyone with my trolley or myself.

Please tell me others on here do the same

Thanks
Sammy

 

[SeanCharles]

@Sammyiam I see this behavior not only in myself, but I see this at least daily while I am on the clock at work! People haven't made a list, they know what they want, can't seem to remember what isle the item(s) is/are on, etc...

I occasionally direct them to the isle that the item is on if I encounter them... Being in the deli, I still assist customers when I am not in the deli as it does allow me to break the cycle of monoty.

 

[macbeth]

I am completely the same when it comes to forgetting things @Sammyiam. I am thinking that memory loss is ptsd related. I also freak out while shopping but I compulsively scan my surroundings to see who's around me and always checking over my shoulder because I am so paranoid.

You are certainly not alone.

 

[Friday]

I have decided (read I have no idea if it's true) that the rational part of my brain can only exist in one time stream at a time. The part that let's me walk, and talk, and breathe may be right here, doing its thing, but the part that let's me think is busy checking out a mass grave in a jungle 20 years ago, sorry. Or is cursing out the damnably cold weather on the Black Mountain in winter. Or is actually drunk, on a training exercise, pretending not to still be drunk. Or vice versa. I'm thinking just fine in the present day, but I'm trying to avoid getting my ass (or any other useful parts of my body) shot off or blown to bits back when. So I've got adrenaline coursing, and muscles shaking, and dammit! Duck!!! Sigh.

Meaning when I'm caught up in my past? Reliving those memories in various levels of detail? What should be new memories simply don't encode right, when my thinking is here but my autonomic responses are there... And when my thinking is there? Well, I'm probably acting the fool round these parts. Stuttering through sentences that make no damn sense, at best.

It's all very exciting. In the same way that an adventure is exciting. Meaning I'm cold, wet, tired, and want to go home.

<<< My memory sucks.

 

[digger]

This is precisely why I internet shop. Not just for food, but pretty much everything. Supermarkets ugh *shudder*…they suck your brain out at the door I'm sure to keep you there longer.

 

[TonyG]

I can also relate to this, lately I have been told that I had said things I have no memory off

 

[Ellabella44]

Some things it helps to have someone with me to help me focus. Drives my husband nuts because i end up letting go and being curious about things and wander off. forget things like how to add a picture here, journaling... etc.

 

[littlelostchild]

I'm totally with you, Sammy. At work I use post-it notes like crazy and make lists and do little jobs straight away so I don't forget to do them. It's ridiculous how bad my memory is now compared to before my breakdown, but it is what it is. You find ways to navigate through it, but it is frustrating.

At home I have a whiteboard for important info. And I regularly forget items when I grocery shop. I can read a book and not be able to tell my hubby what it was about after I'm finished! This is especially true if it has to do with PTSD.

I forget, what is this thread about? ;)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I am lost in the supermarket gets my life about right... I am often in a general state of confusion... Well, at least the time when I used to simply bump into poles and stuff when walking... I used to be really in a wierd state... Living dissociated, now I'm less of that, but still, lost amongst people... Disorganized often and panicking quite easily. And an introvert...

I know how you all feel! The amazing mess one can become!

 

[Sammyiam]

Thanks everyone for your replies, I went to town again today for therapy and to get some groceries . Went to therapy and the day went down hill from there. Forgot most things and ended up in tears at my old therapist telling her that it has all got to much.

Maybe tomorrow may be better.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Sammyiam
My friend, sending you hugs and care :hug: Hoping that your tommorow may be better for you :)