Found

[Nighthawk]

Having a hard time getting my mind back. after 18 years and 11 days my ex husbands name apeared to my daughter through someone on facebook. I am in shock I can't breath and I can't really even think to type.Have we been found. I feel as though I have been hiding for so long grrrrrrr . This little girl has asked my daughter to contact her so that she might possibly set up a meeting with this loser. Why the heck did he not try to make contact. I can't get a hold breathing and crying and my mind is racing. Why now?

NH

 

[KP the nut]

Sweetheart, I am so sorry.

Can't think of more, will talk to you later

Hang in, breathe

(((HUGS)))
KP

 

[Nighthawk]

I think I am broken, done can't handle this one. Frozen, crushed , don'r know how to stop this . Pure anguish

NH

 

[deer_in_headlights]

((((((((((((NightHawlk)))))))))))

Can you call a hotline? Just talking on the phone with someone who can listen, who cares, goes a long way toward helping!
I know this feeling, and it isn't good to be frozen in these feelings, you need to shift them.
Talking with someone in realtime, getting out into fresh air, doing really good self-nurturing will help, and new ideas to deal with this sudden shock will have room to come to you.

Sending hugs and love,
Deer

 

[cherryblossom]

Try to breathe, and ground yourself. You can and will be able to deal with this. Deers suggestion of talking to someone is a good one. Sometimes they can offer help that you have not thought about. Talking to someone will help to ground you, and maybe see things more clearly. When we start to panic, we see everything as overwhelming and insurmountable. But there is nothing that you cannot deal with. Just give yourself chance to calm down and relax a little, which will help you to think more clearly.

Can you get your Daughter to close her facebook account, or at least change her 'privacy' settings, so that people she doesn't know can't contact her. Maybe that would give you some peice of mind, while you think this through.

Keep writing here, and reaching out. I'm sure people will be able to offer you help and support to get through this. Thinking of you.
CB

 

[Nighthawk]

We closed my account last night and she changed all her security settings. I just can't begin to think of how to help her when I am like this.

 

[intothelight]

Oh ((((NH)))),

I am so sorry you are going through this. Keep reaching out for the support you need. Some things are too hard to go alone, and don't hesitate to ask for help.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Deb

 

[cherryblossom]

You will find a way to support her. I'm glad that you have done the practical stuff with your FB accounts. You have had a nasty shock, give yourself a bit of time, and don't be too tough on yourself. Between you both, you will find a way through.

 

[Nighthawk]

This has no logic I did nothing worong and yet it feels as though my world is caving in. Am I being whatched can I leave the house. He vanished he disapeared why now. How do I shut this down. At points I have clear vision but most of it is fear. This is all her choice I have to be there no matter what. What evil tails can he spin about me. I will as usall be made the bad one . I left the country with her as a child and was told by him if I did not come back he would concider it kidnapping. I have had a fear of this since then always watching over my back making sure we were both safe.

Nothing not even my safe place feels safe.
I have left a mesage with my T asking to be seen earlier this week.

NH

 

[Nighthawk]

I got good advice from my aunt she told me to tell my daughter to ask for contact info and if and when she is ready she will make contact. This has calmed me down quit a bit . It will put her in control of the situation.

NH

 

[Nighthawk]

Why is it that the panic/fear/ anxiety takes hold and makes its own reality. the lack of control is so scary and not wanted. I can see that there is reality today and that panic has no boundaries. So all of this leads me to now shame for not having any control. Having to ask for help is not the easieast thing and now I feel ashamed.

NH

 

[intothelight]

Why is it that the panic/fear/ anxiety takes hold and makes its own reality. the lack of control is so scary and not wanted. I can see that there is reality today and that panic has no boundaries. So all of this leads me to now shame for not having any control. Having to ask for help is not the easieast thing and now I feel ashamed.
NH

Dear NH,

There is no shame in asking for help, in fact that is the best thing to do. Regardless of how you view the panic, having an ex contact a child is extremely stressful, PTSD or not. People don't leave and take their children unless there is something really wrong. So do not discount your feelings, they are real, and they need to be addressed. Reaching for help can stop the blind panic.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness nor is it an imposition. We are human beings and we are not meant to be "alone". This is a great place to reach out, because where else do you find people who really understand. Asking for help is the best way to get back on track so this thing doesn't short circuit us.

So reach out as you need, and don't feel bad for it. We all need a friend to listen, some sound advise, and sometimes just a (((hug))). Even if it is electronic, at least we know someone is there.

Deb