Friend is a trigger...i'm confused

[LoveTea]

@Renew that certainly does make sense. Now it feels like everytime she looks at me it's with pity. I know it's probably not true, but that's how my brain reads it. My family has a habit of using everything I say against me, now that's what I'm "used to". I don't know. I'm just used to one sided relationships, where it seems like I need them more than they want me and they have never ended well.

 

[Renew]

@LoveTea It's such a horrible feeling. I always second guess and worry and worry some more. It's a daily battle for me. I think the reason we have trust issues is because, those that should love and protect us the most haven't. They simply have not loved us and protected us. Then when we are grown, (now) we are left to feel like we are the ones that caused it or that it didn't happen (gaslighting at it's finest). I have decided to be no contact with many of my family members because, they are not who they present themselves to be and it won't matter what I do or what I say. I don't matter to them. My Sister will always be the favorite child and I will always be the scape goat to carry the sins of others.