Frozen - A Deer In The Headlights

[Cinnamon4z]

Recently I've been having more and more odd feelings of paralysis
or being unable to move, speak and/or write. When I went for a walk the other
day, I was absolutely unable to move from the middle of the road where I was standing.
When my accident happened, I saw in my rear view mirror the the large SUV and foresaw an inevitable collision as it smashed into my rear left side Unfortunately i kinda underestimated how drastic the damage would be as my car swerved and then spun around 180 degrees facing traffic the wrong way.
When i saw the impending doom, my entire body tensed up- both feet hard on the brakes, both hands gripping the steering wheel, eyes bolted wide open, back tightened up, and the pelvic floor tensing up & lifting up.

I know our sympathetic system - the innate part of our minds & nervous system responds in a fight, flight or potentially FREEZE scenario.

Now more recently i've been really freezing a lot- which is kinda worrisome as it is dangerous to freeze like in the middle of the road. I tried to speak with my psychologist about my car accident yesterday, but then in the middle of it, my mouth & throat just froze. I knew exactly what i wanted to say but the words would not come out! And i was kinda getting anxious clutching Cinnamon in my lap and legs were shaking. The same thing kinda happened when i was typing out a message- all of a sudden my hands would not respond.
This is kinda scary- especially when driving - like i see the road is clear for the next 6-7 seconds at least - but was unable to move my legs and turn. I just sat there frozen at the stop sign for almost another minute.

 

[Cinnamon4z]

I was able to modify my frame of reference whilst driving - using the 3rd person trick i talked about in my earlier post. But my body just would not respond. It is like trying to hit the gas button on the controller but something like either the controller, game or console won't respond properly.
I truly hate this feeling. It is scary, sad, depressing, paralyzing, super frightening, like a bad nightmare....

 

[WillyKat]

First, welcome to the forum!

Freezing up like this is a common symptom of PTSD, as you know. Fight, flight, or dissociate / freeze. When we're in that state, that part of our brain that records ordinary events is dialed way back while the part that handles fear is on max. So, the memories are fragmented and lack context. The fear and anxiety, however, stay present and sit there and wait for a reminder, a trigger, like the kind you're experiencing, brings it all back into the present moment.

The purpose of talking about it with your shrink and writing about it here (congratulations on doing so and keep on doing it) is to get it out into the open. Once in the open, you get an opportunity to process the traumatic incident using the part of the brain that handles normal events. The goal is to incorporate the memory into normal memory, and thereby defuse the intensity.

The trick of course is to be able to talk about it in therapy, or write about it here, w/o being triggered. That's difficult of course as you mentioned. The fear starts coming and pretty soon you're shaking. But, its the right thing to do; this is part of the process.

Search the internet for mindfulness and grounding, and breathing. See if you can get your mind/body in a calm state before you start trying to write about it or speak about it w/ your shrink.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Welcome -

I know for me, I tend to freeze up vocally when I get triggered. I used to do it more but since I have started meditating, and really working on being present in the moment during my meditations, it does not happen as often. For me I can begin to recognize in my body when I am starting to feel like I am going to freeze and I can bring myself back to the present.

Hope you can find some relief soon as I know how scary it is

Namaste - Laurie

 

[Yvy]

Hi cinnamon, I'm so sorry you have this. I can imagine that you hate these feelings! I'm not really familiar with this form so I don't really have something to say that might help you. except trying to accept that you have this now and not fighting against it. Let it be there, if you accept it, maybe it becomes less? Thats what I'm learning with mindfulness and ACT therapy. There are some good short movies on ACT on youtube. But I don't know if this will help for you.... But I do hope so :) (ofcourse I understand that it's dangerous when you're driving a car)