Frustrated Again! *vent*

[ghotiff]

Just a thought. Maybe your T is getting pressure from the university for seeing you significantly longer than the norm. Maybe he wanted to confirm with you that he is helping and that this is what you would say if someone else asked. Maybe?

 

[Chosen]

I was out of town so I didn't get a chance to read the replies.

I am wondering if he's getting pressured by the university since there's a new counseling director there. I hope not.

I e-mailed and asked for clarification. His response was: "I am processing the fact you will be leaving soon and taking note of where you've been and that our time together will be ending."

I'm still confused by that. I graduate in May 2015, and that'd be the earliest I leave (August 2015 is the latest)....is that really "soon" in the eyes of someone? Anyone else think that could be labeled as 'soon'? Or is there some therapy ethic/rule that means you have to talk about ending therapy a year in advance? Though, even if that's the case, I don't see how his comments in any way related to his explanation. *sigh*

 

[Jane.l]

I would be confused too !

 

[digger]

Yep - totally confused here too by that response! :confused:

 

[Chosen]

Yeah...and now I don't want to deal with it via e-mail and will have to wait until next month, or later, depending on when I schedule another appt. I have one left until Sept 1st.

 

[Jane.l]

Crap that's ages away - maybe u need to give it one more go on email - set out very clearly what you ( or we ) don't understand and how you interpreted it and ask for more clarity - I know that's going to be hard but to be fair he has made as clear as mud and you can't wait till September that's really not ok.

 

[Chosen]

It's frustrating since he prefers that I not e-mail him, but wait to address things in session. However, he said those confusing things to me in the last 3 minutes of the session, which gives me no time to process and ask questions about them. Now I'm stuck with e-mail, which he also doesn't like as it's very easily misunderstood, and his e-mail response illustrates that even more since I'm further confused.

I told him in my e-mail response to kinda just forget it. I still want to know, but I don't want to be "that" client who e-mails more than I'm supposed to, and further, I don't know how the new director works and if she's micromanaging things or not...so I need to be careful on my end not to do anything that would cause her to think I need to be referred (which would be ridiculous if she did think that as I'm now the healthiest I've ever been).

GAH. I hate misunderstandings with T's. It's so much easier with other people because you can get it hashed out faster! (or maybe that's the case with people who see their T's every week...I can hardly imagine that!)

 

[Jane.l]

It is the case with us that see our t every week I promise you - yes email is tricky in that it can be misinterpreted - so try to be really clear - of course talking in person would be clearer but it's not fair for you to wait that long .

 

[ghotiff]

Just a different perspective to consider. I don't know if this is what is going on, but maybe a different perspective will help you.

You have being seeing him for 3.5 years and "only" have 1 year left, about 12 sessions. If he is to close out his work with you and maybe set you up with a new T when you leave, this could be considered "soon" as he might be planning for this now to make sure you transition smoothly.

Just thoughts.

 

[Chosen]

Yeah, I suppose that could be the case. I sure wish therapy wasn't so confusing. Sometimes I think my "relationship" with my therapist gives me more grief and confusion than the rest of my life does....it probably just isn't as healthy as it could be. I don't know. I do know that when I move next year, I hope I can afford a private therapist who I can see more than 12 times a year.

 

[NovemberStar]

@Noah It is very common in therapy to have more things triggered by the relationship with yr T than the things you went to therapy FOR. Especially if your trauma involved relationships with your caregivers / parents.

 

[Chosen]

Oh, wow, @NovemberStar, that makes so much sense! Ugh I hate that though!!!