Full Time Too Much With Ptsd. What Benefits Available? Uk

[ptsdhelpandawareness]

Hi Mazggie I hope you performance management went ok? How have the last few days been at school?

Nc

 

[Maggiemay]

Thanks :)

Performance management went well. A very honest and open conversation from both myself and the head. I discussed where I'm at right now which was helpful. We worked through my list which put me at ease as my concerns were answered. We talked though about my perfectionism, doing too much and his concern of me bburning myself out. It was weird hearing my boss telling I don't always need to do my best and sometimes just settle for the bare minimum! :s I'm glad I had it, but made me very anxious - cried lots in front of him which isn't like me at all and my legs physically shook the whole time....

Kids been amazing as always. In fact, one of my colleagueswas laughing at me the other day as I'm always so enthusiastic about my kids :)

Been a tough weekend though. Never usually do school work over weekend but had no choice this weekend. :( Did 4hrs yest assessing kids & filling out appropriate paperwork for pupil progress meetings on Wed where I need to justify the progress they have/haven't made. *Groan*

The emotionalness of the wrrk must have effected me more than I thought tho - went shopping yest ; forgot pin for 2nd time in a month - I'm going to have to adapt how I shop! Esculated to panic attack and blacking out :'(

Then today, did 3hrs work as I've changed my planning for the week because of observation last week. All was fine & all done, but since then I've had 2 seizures & head is killing and chest couldn't be anymore painful if ir tried - it's even hurting to breathe! And am exhausted! I've slept on and off for last 4 hours.

This isn't a life, this isn't the way things are supposed to be.I'm meant to just accept all this as apapparently my unwellness is rooted in my body, but I don't want to, it's the last thing I want to do... :'(

Xxx

 

[ptsdhelpandawareness]

It sounds like you have had some ups and downs, over the last few days. It seems like your head is supportive of you and is supportive. You say you are supposed to live with it. I believe people accept they have PTSD, but that doesn't mean we give up. We keep taking one step after the other and you will learn technique and gain understanding. Not everything will be right for you but in the long run you will make progress and learn to manage different symptoms.

I used to compete in triathlons until an incident left me with injuries that mean I now use a.wheel chair. When I trained I would sometimes hit a tough patch, I would hurt and the last thing I wanted to do was take another step. It was at these time I learned to grit my teeth get my head down and think no further than the next step. I Always made it home or to the end of the run. So will you, when times are tough think about the next step and you will get back home/ to the end of the road. Nov :-) xXX

 

[Maggiemay]

Thanks :)

I think you're right about the different between accepting and giving up - maybe I'm giving up right now.. :(

Sure been a difficult few days, but made it through today which is positive and a challenge given that I felt so unwell over the weekend. Sigh.

 

[ptsdhelpandawareness]

Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. I hope things are looking up and you have been having an enjoyable experience.

Nic