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Function Meter

Atm not sure how do I measure okay life...

But when off, by sleeping, drinking, smoking and brushing teeth at least once a day.

Because if I brush teeth I give a damn for things outside my head and present. As in if able to with reality.

And by drinking, for how much I trying to cope / regulate. If I'm minding what I'm drinking or not drinking but reaally commenting on it, I'm hanging on by a thread but sane. As in willing to, with reality.

Sleeping is more about where my head is at. Different patterns, different years, different companies.
 
Having a dog also makes a difference

Yes it does! One of the benefits of having a service dog is he helps me actually get out of bed cause he needs to go potty and he needs to be ran/exercised. If not for that and honestly my job, I'm not sure I'd leave the bed. My body already breaks down on me after work and after Chopper is taken out and exercised.

Can’t even count the number of times I’ve been called weird for keeping a flat of 2liters & flat of meal replacement shakes on shelves in the bathroom. But there’s durn good reason

I do this. I keep it in the fridge cause I can't stomach it hot but some days I don't eat at all (sometimes completely forgetting and others just unable to) and if I can drink that, at least I know my body is getting something. Maybe less then bare min but at least something.
 
Yo @Friday, I finally got through like one third of your post... and laughed so rueful hard.

Got coffee in the bathroom for the same reason (coffee = back to earth, reminder to sugars hence go eat) and shampoo / gel whatever *not* in the bathroom (depressed brains? Bottle as bottle. Let's drink this f*cker. .... oops. Not. We noot.)

Systems in crazy help damnedest.
 
Yo @Friday, I finally got through like one third of your post...

For the past month and a half or so... if I’m writing longer than a sentence or three? It usually took me a few days to write. My ability to be Linear / complete simple tasks from start to finish... is out spinning circles until it’s too dizzy to stand :facepalm:

- Activities of daily living (my personal bare minimum)
- Tricks to get out of that / add some more functionality
- I wanted to explore my patterns in that, but that’s more of a diary post
- Definitions & Subjective Realities (both in communicating with others & me’self)
 
I'm amazed at the fact that I'm not alone at some of these 'functioning really badly' posts. Not eating for days, sleeping all the time, just drinking liquids. Not that I want people to be like that but that I do too. Really minimal survival tasks. The bare minimum. Eating half a tub of rice over 3 days.
 
@Friday .... hands flail! Shush shush apologies. I mean doon't shush-shush like ever ;), it was mostly snarking how weird my ability to read is, last a month.

@Survivor3 In my book, survival is a skillset... so not satisfying it may feel, you're doing it right.
 
Been interesting looking at this and in some ways seeibg more clearly yeah I'm not functioning that great. And in other ways - yeah I'm not functioning that badly considering.

I've set up a first try at a list of 10 things, and already changed one of em.

I want to do it with an emphasis on a headspace which is curious / interested rather than expectations / disappointments type of thing.

The app has a calendar where you can view each day as a success or failure, or you can choise to show each day as a percentage. Shown in traffic light colours. I set it to 66% and above being green, below 30% is red. I suspect I might not like this but we'll see.

No idea as yet if I'll get on well with doing this or not but giving it a go.

Interested to know what kinds of things others might include in their list of 10? I'm sure some things are universal and others must vastly with us all being different.

@Sideways OK to ask? - when you mentioned not wanting to tell T that the function meyer works better than the T at helping you, is that because using the meter helps you to function better as well as keeping a record?
 
the function meyer works better than the T at helping you, is that because using the meter helps you to function better as well as keeping a record?
I make a really terrible therapy patient. I'm incredibly vague and evasive at the best of times. Even with Ts like my current one, who is definitely on my side and is pretty competent and have been working with weekly for years. I don't like talking about myself. And I'm really not very good at it.

So, for me, adding another person for me to be able to talk to? Is just a really distressing concept.

I know that function (and change in function) is an important measure of how someone is travelling from a clinical perspective, and ticking boxes of definitive tasks is something I can do even when I'm really unwell. And because the measures are important ones from a mental health perspective as well, it's helpful information for my pdoc.

Makes up for me not being able to communicate effectively in any other way when I'm unwell. I reckon it's probably hard for most people to fess up that, "I've only showered twice this week", especially when we're already down on ourselves.

But also it has that other benefit of focusing on what I need to do. When I'm well, I can think (and have the motivation and energy) to decide what I need and want to do with my day. When I'm unwell, it helps me to keep things simple. Vacuuming out the boot of my car can wait (and lying in bed beating myself up with "I should be out of bed vacuuming my car and...but I can't, I'm so useless" is unhelpful helplessness/hopelessness stuff that I do which drives my mood down further), especially when it's an achievement if I just change into fresh clothes today. So the Function Meter keeps my daily goals simple, and helpful, until I'm out of my hole.
 
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So the Function Meter keeps my daily goals simple, and helpful, until I'm out of my hole.
Got it. I have over the years been sort of developing a routine - I can't say as I've perfected it AT ALL but its been developed with helping me out of the hole in mind. Basically is a list of things that gets varied quite a bit but I'd never thought of each day having a mark out of 10 to help me see that my functioning had slipped.

It does seem to sneak up on you without you quite realising innit.
 
It does seem to sneak up on you without you quite realising innit.
You may find that, like any skill set, going through the motions of noting it down each day (did that, did that, didn't do that, etc) will, after a while, help you notice as a matter of course.

Same reason psychologists love handing out worksheets to practice their skills at home. Going through those motions brings it to being a fixed thing in your mind that you notice more naturally.

But, will also help you be honest with yourself when you're 'slipping'.

Remember that these things are achievements, not "I'm not good enough unless I get a score of at least...". There's no one competing against you, or judging you. It's just noticing and recording useful data, and using it as small motivations when that's helpful.
 
I really have to think of what mine would be. Sure, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, dressing, all that for sure. But reading, painting and watching my aquarium fish is important too. Anything that keeps me centered and not depressed are also important. I do have Ensure protein shakes for when I don't feel like cooking.

One other important thing is that I must get my CPAP machine ready for the night, because I tend to procrastinate on that one a lot and then I run the risk of dying in I sleep without it!

So, yes I can cut this list real short, but I work hard with my T to prevent that, because all these things make an excellent day for me, though I rarely do them all.
 
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